All Aboard

I’m writing this from a train. (I’m hopefully posting it from the train too, but the wifi has been spotty.) I am making the trip from Manhattan to Philly in the final leg of East Coast Baby Tour 2012. Did I even tell you about the baby tour? Sigh.

You know how Ani Difranco has that lyric about wanting to be like Duke Ellington and travel around in her own railroad car? I totally agree. I’d like my own railroad car…maybe there could be a way to buy your own and then have it hooked up to a train when you want to go places? Train travel is just so pleasant in a way that air travel can never be (unless you’re flying in a private jet, but sadly, I am not on the track to becoming a billionaire).

So yes, East Coast Baby Tour 2012 was originally a trip to Philly, but it got expanded upon learning that one can fly from Minneapolis to Pittsburgh to New York, take the train to Philly and then fly back to Minneapolis for roughly 40% less than one can fly round-trip from Minneapolis to Philly. It makes no sense, but it did allow me to line up visits with all of my East Coast friends – including several who have gained children since last I saw them.

I’m not going to go into all the details of everywhere I’ve been and the babies I have kissed, but what’s been interesting to me is just getting to pass through people’s lives this way. They’ve all generously welcomed me into their homes and I get a glimpse of the way other people live and the way that couples interact with each other – it’s super interesting, I recommend it.

I think it’s easy to miss all the nuances that your particular relationship with your spouse has acquired over the years (especially when it’s been more than a decade) – things that you take for granted, ways of communicating, even just evening routines. Observing other people gives insight into them as well as yourself. And I love insight.

So anyway, I’ve been traveling all over the place for the last 5 days, with 2 to go. It’s been weird traveling alone like this, although I haven’t really been alone, of course. It’s nice. And also I miss my family. It’s a good mental health break from work and family life though. No worrying about taking care of anyone or anything but me. (On that note, I got a spontaneous midday massage in Manhattan at Bunya Citispa and it was possibly the best massage of my life.)

This trip was both well- and poorly-timed as it turns out, as I got a new job (!) pretty suddenly last week (I’ll have to write a separate post about that), so this mental respite is much needed and yet it leaves me with only one more week of doing my current job before I start the new one, which will ultimately be fine, but isn’t exactly the ideal way to hand things off…but, like I said, it will ultimately be fine. Actually, the trip is a lot more than fine – it's been pretty amazing getting to see so many people and places in such a short time…I’m already plotting a family train trip maybe for next summer.

All aboard!

Photos & Friends

We survived the sleepover. The children would probably even describe it as "fun." Success.

In other news, I've been pondering things (as I'm known to do) and I've come to two decisions:

1. I want to do a photo everyday for a year project.

2. I want to complete #35 on my 40 by 40 list by my birthday. That means I need to write each one of my friends a letter saying what they mean to me.

The first one will be easy to start and hard to stick with. The second one will be hard to start, but I'm hoping the words will come easily once I get started...

So, for the photos, I'm torn. I like the idea of just having a photo that represents each day, but then I also thought it would be interesting to do a photo of a certain time of day. Like, a photo of everyone I'm with at 7 p.m. everyday. Yes, I'd end up with a lot of photos of me and my kids in our living room, but that's not all bad. You'll still be able to see a progression over time. Thoughts, anyone?

Also, can you start such a project on a random day in April, or would it be better to wait until either the first on the month, or my birthday or something?

As for writing my friends letters, well, that begs the question of who makes the list, right? I'm not going to write every person I know a letter, but how do you define "friend"? Is it how long we've known each other? How often we speak? (If we're actually talking about talking, that's a short list) I don't know...I'm feeling a need to set criteria so that I can limit the list, while also not hurting anyone's feelings. Maybe I'm projecting here, but if I had a friend who announced she was writing letters to all of her friends and then I didn't get a letter, I'd be a little hurt. I have to think about that one some more. The point is that if I got hit by a bus next week, or month, or year (or if one of my friends did), this is something I would like to have done.

And also, does an email count as a letter? Did I really mean that I would write actual paper letters? (I should really remind myself to be more detailed when setting goals)

So if I manage to complete this task, that means I can either learn to change the tire or learn to make and appreciate a good martini. You guys were pretty enthusiastic about the martini challenge...makes me wonder if I should make an entire list devoted to bartending adventures...it seems that I have many very willing and able friends when it comes to drinking.

I think I'll pursue all three goals and see what happens. Maybe I'll end up completing six list items in a year. That wouldn't be so bad considering the effort and expense involved in many of the remaining items...I really should have put "get rich" on that list.

Sleepovers

Tonight I am hosting a sleepover. Five kids, including mine...which I guess makes it a slumber party. And it's nobody's birthday. I think I just let my guilt at not inviting anyone to sleepover at our house for 6 months get the best of me.

The thing is, sleepovers can be a beautiful thing when they are at someone else's house. Free babysitting and the kids have a great time! But you've got to give to get and it was beyond our turn to invite the boys' friends over, so I figured I might as well kill all the birds with one stone and make it a slumber party.

I stuffed them with lasagna and have a movie and ice cream sandwiches waiting. But I also have an Owen sitting inside watching You Tube videos while the rest of the kids play kickball in the driveway...everytime he tries to engage in the group activity, he ends up having a meltdown. His friends are polite and patient with him, but no one wants to be shrieked at for hours.

I don't know how to help him. He knows these kids. He likes them. I don't understand the anxiety he feels, but I do recognize that it's a visceral response. I just wish I could help him feel comfortable in the situation. I wish it could be as fun for him as it is for Aidan.

It's hard, but it's worth it. It's good for him to get the chance to do regular kid stuff, even if it's stressful (for both of us). He does have fun - it's just a lot more work for him than other kids. But I'm grateful that he has friends and that they are understanding of his quirks and his meltdowns. I hope that it lasts.

For now, You Tube seems to be the common denominator, as all the kids have now gathered around Owen to watch Annoying Orange videos...please let there always be a common denominator.

The Invitation is Open

I realize it's only been a matter of days (not even two weeks!) since I made the resolution, but I am so far failing at inviting people over...which is to say that I have yet to invite anyone over. (I did, however, bake some chocolate chip cookies.)

In what could be construed as good news, I've gotten the part about staying home down pat. Except I fear I will be a hermit within one month. Every morning I ponder whether I can get away with staying in my pajamas for the entire day...usually I can't, but I sure do like the idea.

You see, I like my friends (a lot, mostly), but inviting them over just seems like a lot of work. More work than going out. I feel like I need a reason to invite people over...a theme, an event, an activity...is this my own neurosis? Do regular people just invite their friends over to watch Wheel of Fortune and eat microwave lasagna? (Yes, apparently I am now 70.)

And then there are the children...mine are sure to be that perfectly irritating mix of cute, distracting and needy. And if my friends bring their kids, well, we might as well have just gone to the Starbucks drive-thru together and called it a day because that's how much heart-to-heart conversation we're going to have. Not to mention that my house is practically a death trap for the under 3 set - I've never seen a house with so many sharp corners. Sorry, that was the anxiety talking.

Friends, I love you. I even love your kids. And you are all welcome. I think I just don't want to have to invite you. January is too cold for me to plan anything other than faraway vacations. Would it be too much for me to ask you all to get together and create a secret schedule in which you call me on a rotating basis to invite yourselves over and tell me what I should prepare? Ok, great. Thanks!

I ♥ Las Vegas

I don't know whether any of you have really been missing it, but I owe you a blog about my trip to Vegas. So here goes...

It was SO fun! I'd like to try to convince myself that it was actually more fun because I waited more than a year between visits, but I know full well that my brain is impervious to such logic. Every time I go to Vegas, I begin planning my next trip to Vegas - that's just the way it is.

This trip was a bit different for me in that it was warm enough to go to the pool (for Vegas, that means 80's) and we didn't eat a single fancy dinner. The fanciest we got was Todd English P.U.B. in the new CityCenter complex, which was good, but overpriced. BLT Burger, in the Mirage, was a much better value - plus, they have a shake called The All-Nighter that involves espresso and Bailey's (YUM!).

Truth be told, we were supposed to eat at Mario Batali's B&B Ristorante one night, but we ended up canceling our reservation because I had declared it to be "Everything fun day," during which we could only do fun things, and we were having too much fun in the dive casinos on the Strip to leave (mostly Casino Royale, which wins for most deceiving name). They had $1 margaritas. That was a good day.

The best part of the trip was spending time with some of our fabulous friends, who we don't get to see nearly often enough. Plus, I got to see one of my college friends who I hadn't seen for (this kills me) nearly a decade. And we saw LOVE, which I think must be just as amazing the 700th time you see it as it is the first (this was my second). AND I discovered a new favorite slot machine, Invaders from the Planet Moolah (They're cows, get it? And they moo in the most delightful ways!). AND I got to play the Monopoly Tycoon Bonus several times, which is always a good thing.

Oh Vegas, I keep thinking you will start to lose your luster one of these times...but it seems that we have a love made to last.

I ♥ NY

"They just use your mind, and they never give you credit. It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it!"

I've been back from New York for three days and I've still got "9 to 5" running on a loop through my head. But I don't mind because it brings back my fond memories (from Saturday) of seeing Allison Janney on Broadway!

I want to tell all of you to run and see "9 to 5" because it's so much fun, but it's only running through Sept. 6, so unless you're in the New York area right at this moment, I'm afraid you will miss out on Miss Janney's Broadway brilliance. (It's not just her, either, the entire cast is great.)

So yeah, I went to New York. It was my expat BFF's last hurrah before returning to India. Or, more accurately, it was our last hurrah with him (that would be Gretchen and me), as he was actually fairly ready to return to his new home after spending nearly a month here with nonstop work and social engagements.

Aside from the Broadway musical (man, I love musicals), another highlight of our NYC adventures included seeing the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Annex and the John Lennon: The New York City Years exhibit. It opened the day after I left New York the last time, so I was delighted to find that it was still open when we wandered down Mercer to shop.

It's total coincidence (or fate?) that I was just at the real Rock and Roll Hall of Museum, but I have to say that the way they've conceptualized the museum experience at the annex – with headphones that play the appropriate soundtrack as you walk from exhibit to exhibit – is actually superior to the way they are doing things in Cleveland.

Btw, they have pieces of CBGB on display in the annex. Now, while I think it's a nice tribute to the venue, I was just a little weirded out by seeing a place I've actually been, reassembled in a museum. It makes a girl feel old.

As for the Lennon exhibit, it was both heart-warming and sad. He could have done so much more...a fact that you are solemnly reminded of as the exhibit ends with the actual brown paper bag the coroner sent back to Yoko with the clothes in which John was murdered. It's intended to make a statement against gun violence. It just reminded me of how people can be taken from you in an instant.

Ok, so that was depressing, but in a culturally-relevant way. Onto lighter things...

Saturday night we had dinner at Perilla, the restaurant that belongs to Top Chef season one winner Harold Dieterle! The place is adorable and the food is amazing (hello, goat cheese tortellini), but the best part was when Harold himself emerged from the kitchen in his chef coat, suggesting that he actually might have cooked our food.

And just as we were recovering from that star struck moment, Neil Patrick Harris waltzes into the restaurant (possibly on a date) and is whisked away to a table in the back. I pondered meandering back there to strike up a conversation about how Aidan often reminds me of Doogie Howser, but then I remembered that he probably prefers to think that people don't only remember him for that particular role.

Anyway, Perilla is amazing. It would be amazing even if Harold wasn't a reality TV winner, but let's be honest: Knowing that I've further intertwined my life with Top Chef brings me a special kind of happiness. Could be worse.

And this is not a highlight exactly, but later that night, in a cloud of sleepiness and cocktails, Gretchen and I had the brilliant idea to wander around Times Square in search of cream cheese wontons. I mean, we figured they must be on every street corner, right? Wrong. But we did have a lovely stroll through Times Square until it began to rain, at which point we ran into a bar. Upon exiting, I tripped and tore off nearly half of the nail on my big toe. Oops. And then we ate hot dogs and called it a night.

Anyway, our final day in New York included one last highlight, which was a lovely trip to the gigantic Whole Foods Market in Columbus Circle, where we acquired lunch and then went and ate it in Central Park. Ah, Central Park. It was a lovely end to a lovely weekend...which is to say that I'm making an effort to block out the ensuing debacle with missing our return flight being stuck in the airport for four hours while all the promise of Manhattan loomed just over the horizon.

No, I'll just let Central Park on a perfect, sunny day with the BFF trifecta, be my last memory of the trip.

I ♥ Pittsburgh

The craziness (the good kind) is peaking over here, as I prepare to leave for my final hurrah of the summer: a weekend in NYC!

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. First, I must tell you about the wonders that Pittsburgh had to offer last weekend.

I should start by admitting that my preconceived notions about Pittsburgh were totally wrong. It's a really nice city. And very green (as in trees, although I heard that it's also trying to be more eco-minded).

But before I tell you about the treasures we discovered, I should say that the real reason the trip was so fun is because of the company. BFFs + a birthday to celebrate = a fun weekend anywhere, probably, but these girls were awesome.

Thanks, Rachel, for having a birthday that gave us a reason to plan the trip. And extra thanks to Amy and Gerra, for jumping full force into tourist mode with us. Not only were these girls up for anything, they drove us to an entirely different state and wouldn't even accept gas money. And when a Starbucks detour almost left us stranded in suburban Pittsburgh for eternity, I don't even think they held a grudge. That's friendship.

Alright, so the trip. Those of you in the Twin Cities who might be pondering such a vacation should know that if you fly NWA/Delta, you will ride in a tiny plane and they will snatch your carry-on luggage from you and stick it under the plane. (I would have appreciated such a warning.)

Luckily, all of my anxiety and confusion about the tiny plane and the "plane side" luggage procedure were quickly swept away when I saw Amy and Gerra's smiling faces greeting us at the airport. I was even happier when they brought us immediately to Church Brew Works.

It once was a church, but now is a brewery/bar/restaurant. Amazing grace and all that. Genius? I believe so. And I forgot to buy a commemorative pint glass, so if you go, please bring me one.

The afternoon also included a stop at Oh Yeah!, an ice cream joint that allows you to choose your ice cream flavor and then select from a list of what seemed like a bazillion mix-ins. It's like if Cold Stone Creamery had a soul. They've got everything from balsamic vinegar to Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. I guess I went the boring route, only having sweet cream ice cream with bananas and caramel, but it was delish.

Later that night, we decided to try out the brand new all-slots The Rivers Casino in downtown Pittsburgh. It made me giddy upon entry, as the familiar clinks and beeps transported me to Las Vegas, but once we realized that none of our favorites were there (except for one bank of Monopoly slots, which were occupied), our hostesses decided that a trek out to The Meadows Casino was in order. They were totally right.

The Meadows had everything I could have hoped for in a casino: Monopoly, The Price is Right, Deal or No Deal, video blackjack...I was even introduced to a new favorite: Hot, Hot Penny. Sadly, my Vegas luck did not follow me to Pittsburgh, so I did not win any money. Still, the mini-Vegas vacation was good for my soul. (Trust me, my soul works like that.) I can only imagine what my life would be like if I lived so close to that place.

The next morning was the big day: Rachel's birthday and our road trip to Cleveland in pursuit of #26 on my 40 by 40 list, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum.

I had been told that I would probably be disappointed with the museum, but I wasn't. Trusting the layout, the first thing we did inside was watch the "Mystery Train" film, which documents the evolution of music, starting pre-rock and roll, and ends with interviews from musicians talking about how music saved their lives and why it's so important. It makes you realize how much passion went into founding the museum, which puts you in exactly the mood you need to be in to walk through rooms of rockstar memorabilia.

So yes, there was a lot of clothing and guitars. I found the hand-written lyric sheets much more interesting, but I enjoyed all of it. Also interesting was the Rolling Stone magazine exhibit and seeing Pink Floyd's The Wall reconstructed (the actual wall) with the gigantic. psychedelic, inflatable "teacher" looming over it. Trippy.

And, even though the sandwich itself was quite mediocre, I did appreciate the way the museum consistently applied its theme, even in the cafe. (Lest you think the sandwich was the only thing I found interesting enough to photograph, I should mention that photography is not allowed in the museum.)

So yes, The Presidents of the United States of America (and Drew Carey) were right: Cleveland does, indeed, rock.

After a rousing game of "I'm Going on a Picnic" (btw, I'm bringing an avocado, a blanket, cards, dogs, elk meat...I forget), we were back in Pittsburgh and ready for a celebratory dinner at Soba. Have you ever eaten such a fine chunk of ahi tuna? Well, now I have.

Even though we had to leave the next day, we still managed to pack in a morning visit to the Strip District, where I fell in love with the Leaf & Bean, which provides a Jimmy Buffet-esque oasis, only they serve espresso rather than margaritas. We also had a fabulous lunch at the Penn Avenue Fish Company (I can recommend the Happy Jack).

Not ready to say goodbye to Pittsburgh yet, we rode up Mount Washington on the Duquesne Incline. That's the cable car-like contraption that was built to bring people up and down the mountain back before you could just drive. It was fun in a historical kind of way, and it allowed for the lovely view of the city that you see at the top of this post.

And with just a little more time before we had to head to the airport, we made one final stop: The Beehive, a charming coffee shop/hangout, where I was able to have a mini pineapple pie a la mode! Tiny pies are almost as good as cupcakes. This was definitely an excellent send-off treat.

I ♥ Pittsburgh.

And now it is time to shift my sights up the coast. New York, here I come!

Off I Go

I am off to Pittsburgh tomorrow with a BFF, to see a BFF. This is summer girls' weekend #2. (Yay!)

I have never been to Pittsburgh. For no good reason, I always envisioned it to be a gray, industrial, vaguely-depressing place - not nearly as sparkly as the photo above - but I am ready to be pleasantly surprised.

Plus, in preparation for my arrival, Pittsburgh recently opened an all-slots casino! (Thanks, Pittsburgh!) Perhaps a visit to this mystical place will provide temporary relief from the jonesing I've been doing for Las Vegas (I mean, come on, it's been 8 months). Better yet, perhaps I will win a million dollars in nickels. You just never know.

But the big news for this trip is that I will be accomplishing one of my 40 by 40 goals by visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum!

Yes, that's right, we will be leaving the fine city of Pittsburgh to drive to the equally sexy city of Cleveland. I'd like to say that I will also be visiting one of Iron Chef Michael Symon's fine establishments while in Cleveland, but alas, the timing just isn't right. Will I ever get back to Cleveland? Well, you know, maybe...if I one day become BFFs with either of the Cleveland Michaels (Symon or Ruhlman), then maybe they will invite me to visit them and I'd have a reason to go back.

So, no, probably not.

Anyway, I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend with the girls. And I get to miss work on Monday, which is always a bonus. Even though I don't get paid vacation, it's still a bonus.

Tune in next week for the Pittsburgh/Cleveland recap!

Food Adventures in the Windy City

Is it possible that summer actually picks up speed toward the end? That the space-time continuum actually contracts just a bit so that we (in Minnesota, at least) get hurdled at 400 mph, clear over fall, straight into the cold depths of winter? It's just a thought I've been having as it is somehow August and the first day of school feels like it will be tomorrow, well, tomorrow, which means Christmas must be like a week from Friday.

This is all really to say that I went to Chicago last weekend - actually, I returned a full week ago today - and yet I am only now getting around to mentioning it. I contemplated not mentioning it at all, except then I wouldn't have been able to tell you about this:
Or this:

Or this:

And really, I couldn't let that happen.

So, yes, Chicago. This trip was a long-awaited girls' weekend...really an elaborate plan to give one of my friends her first baby-free weekend ever. (I feel that it's important to point out here that her "baby" is now 3.)

You might think from those photos up there that all we did on this girls' weekend was eat and you would be almost correct, except you'd be leaving out all of the wine. Ok, and we walked a lot, too. Walk, eat, drink. Repeat. It's a can't lose formula - go ahead and try it on your next getaway.

So yes, three of my friends and I set out for Chicago last Friday morning with the intention of spending some quality time sans children. Now, seeing as I'm already a week late on this and not interested in pouring my heart out about how great it was to have uninterrupted time with my friends, let's stick to the food highlights, shall we?

As with every destination these days, I knew we'd need to hit at least one great foodie locale in Chicago. As soon as I saw Graham Elliot Bowles on Top Chef Masters, I knew it must be his restaurant. (and my fellow Top Chef devotees agreed) The first photo above is what I had for dinner there: miso grilled lobster with yuzu bubbles.

My overall review of the restaurant is that it's awesome. The ambiance is perfect (even the 80's Prince songs sort of work) and the menu is approachable, but surprising. The popcorn they deliver to the table instead of bread is so good that I had to make myself stop eating it before I ran out of room for my meal. And the corn chowder is a masterpiece.

Still, I have to admit that my entree didn't blow me away. It was good. It was inventive. It was pretty, for sure. But I guess when I eat lobster, I expect it to taste decadent, and the flavors here were just too subtle (and I had a lot of trouble wrangling the lobster out of its shell). However, my friends had the seared Alaskan halibut and the wild king salmon and gave them rave reviews.

Plus, the desserts made up for any of the lobster's shortcomings. The dark chocolate cake looked nothing like you would expect, but was every bit as delicious. And the big surprise was the sesame shortbread, which involved prickly pear and something called "homemade halva," which is spun sugar, only instead of being like cotton candy, it's like hardened caramel...it's something you must experience. Love.

That was Friday night. Saturday was spent in Millennium Park, with a pit stop for a perfect macchiato at the Intelligentsia Cafe (which cleared the wine fog from the previous evening), and then a trip to More, the adorable cupcake place we'd stumbled upon the day before, but passed up at that time due to making an ill-advised cupcake trip to Bombon as soon as we'd arrived in the city...

That second picture up above is of More. Have you ever seen such an artful display of cupcakes? I wanted to give them my money just to show my appreciation for their appreciation of cupcakes. Ah, but it turns out the beautiful shop is just the beginning. Once inside, you realize they have what seems like a bazillion flavors, everything from straight up Chocolate Chocolate to some imaginative savory creations, such as Maple Bacon.

I admit that I went into a bit of a trance at this point, but I managed to emerge from the shop with a box of four full-sized cupcakes (just for me!): White Velvet, Salted Caramel, Margarita and Peach BBQ. My plan is to return to the shop until I have sampled every flavor. I think that given the 400 miles between us, it should take me approximately 10 years. Or one really, really sugary trip that ends in my diagnosis with diabetes - you know, whichever.

That Salted Caramel cupcake was to die for. The Margarita, which has tequila frosting, was so much like a margarita, it was weird - in a good way. By this point I was beginning to sweat buttercream, so I thought I'd bring the other two home for my boys...this required me to lug them around for the next 24 hours and home on a plane, only to have the boys declare the White Velvet to be too sweet for their teeth. The Peach BBQ seemed like it was going to be good, but by the time we got to it, was getting crusty and I was too full of sugar to eat it. Lesson learned: Eat all cupcakes immediately.

Somehow we regained our appetites by dinner time, so we ventured out to Frontera Grill/Topolobampo, home of another Top Chef Master, Rick Bayless. (In case you haven't heard, Topolobampo was named something along the lines of best restaurant in the country.) We decided to try our luck at the packed bar and order appetizers. It didn't look promising, but the Top Chef gods were with us and we eventually found a tiny ledge on which to balance our margaritas and order the appetizer platter (see picture three, above). Ceviche, guacamole, taquitos, oh my! It was amazing. I will definitely be making a reservation on my next visit to Chicago.

So, yay for Chicago! And yay for Top Chef! And extra yay for having friends who will indulge and share my reality TV-inspired food adventures! I will now be fasting until my next girls' weekend (with different girls), which is a stupidly soon less-than two weeks away.

But, you gotta squeeze in the summer getaways before the season slips away. Come to think of it, I should probably get started on my Christmas list...

Seizing the Day...and Not

A friend of mine just had a health scare – the kind that is so terrifying that it changes your life even when you find out it’s really okay (and it is really okay, thank god). Obviously the waiting to find out was much more excruciating on her end, so I won’t belabor my own agony, but it did get me thinking. 

I’m getting CaringBridge updates on two different people who are deep in the fight with cancer right now. One who I believe will win and one who, it pains me to say, I’m not so sure about…and, you know, it feels totally arrogant to even mention the way I feel about any of it because I’m sitting safely on the sidelines…and yet, well, it’s my blog, so I suppose that makes me a tiny bit arrogant from the outset.

My first instinct to being confronted with the mortality of people I care about is to embrace carpe diem. No day but today! Live each day as if it's your last! Right, and then you realize that just in case this day isn’t your last, you should probably go to work.

I suppose it’s the same struggle as always, just slightly more narrowly focused for a moment: How do you find meaning in life? How do you make a difference, leave a mark, or make a contribution to the world that you will one day leave behind? What do you want people to remember about you?

I suppose my 40 by 40 list is an attempt at committing to doing what’s important to me…albeit over an eight-year span. Isn’t it just a little presumptuous to make such a list?  

If I found out today that I had a week or a month or a year to live, would I run out and do all of the things on that list, or would I hunker down with my husband and my precious babies and attempt to absorb a lifetime’s worth of joy? Would I attempt to journal every bit of motherly wisdom that I’ve been assuming I had decades to impart? In Ireland, perhaps?

It’s so easy to look at it and say that it’s all about priorities, it’s all about following your heart, but we all know that sometimes priorities and heartstrings collide and we’re not always enlightened enough in that moment to make a decision we might be proud of for eternity…

Sometimes we just make the decision that gets us through the day. And that’s okay, sometimes. Because it has to be. I guess we just hope that over time, we make more of the right decisions and less of the wrong ones, and that slowly, but surely, we steer our lives to the place that we want them to be. 

Speed(y-ish) Racers

Yesterday was one of my favorite days of the year because it was the day of the Great Urban Race! Although I normally steer clear of both competition and physical challenges, I make an exception for treasure/scavenger hunts.

The Great Urban Race is sort of like "Midnight Madness" (the movie, not any basketball nonsense) meets The Amazing Race, with digital cameras. Basically, it's a really fun way to run around the city doing things you would never normally do. 

You might remember that last year I competed with my friend Kevin as K-squared. We finished in 152nd place (out of 162 teams). Since Kevin has since run away to India, this year I competed with my friend Gretchen as team "Communication Breakdown." Our goal was to make the top 100.

Even though I knew what to expect this year, I still went into a bit of a panic/hyper-focus mode when it came time to rip open that clue envelope.  

Twelve clues and we could choose to skip one. The first was in Pig Latin, so I moved down to number 2: Make your way to the Minneapolis music club made famous by Prince in the movie Purple Rain. Take a picture of all teammates pointing at the silver star representing the band that has albums titled "Elephunk"and "Monkey Business." Awesome! We knew we needed to head downtown. Even more awesome was that this year, we'd actually researched the bus routes and were able to quickly board a bus going in the right direction. 

Even before we boarded the bus, I got in touch with our Google team headquarters (a.k.a. my husband) and began requesting information:

"Who has an album titled 'Elephunk'?" "Where did the Acadia move to?""Where's the Tin Fish?" "What does Molly Shannon's 'superstar' pose look like?"

By the time we got off that bus, we had all of our clues but one solved. The straggler was #9: Take a picture of all teammates in front of a sign that reads 'for bread * cake * pastry. It sounded so easy...

Undaunted, we quickly snapped our photo in front of the Black-Eyed Peas' star on First Avenue (clue #2), decided against recruiting eight other people to strike Molly Shannon's "superstar" pose under the Hard Rock Cafe guitar (clue #7 and a detour, which gave us another option), and ran back out to Hennepin Avenue to hop back on a bus headed to Uptown. 

We didn't know it at the time, but that bus ride was a critical juncture. First, my lovely stepsisters, who were also competing (as the intimidating team "Chicken Dinner") were already on the bus and we decided to partner up. Second, last year's winners (the Oozing Monkeys) were also on the bus. (We would later realize that 4 of the top 5 teams were on that bus with us.)

Once in Uptown, our competitors scattered. We (with the sisters, we were now four) ducked into a bookstore to complete part of clue #8: Find the Minnesota Literacy Council next to the Tin Fish on lake Calhoun and donate at least one new pre-school age board book.

We then hit Calhoun Square - clue #5 directed us there, but more importantly, we needed a bathroom break. Not wanting to appear rude, we ordered drinks at the bar before using their facilities...and naturally, we had to drink those drinks after having paid for them and all...

In case you're keeping track, that means we took our first pit stop after completing just 1.5 clues. 

After rehydrating at the bar, we counted all of the butterflies in the Fairy Godmother shop window, as instructed in clue #5. (I counted 106.) Then it was onto Amazing Thailand (part one of clue #12) to find the "tuk-tuk" and read its license plate so we could add the digits together.

After stopping at the East-facing mural at Cal Surf  to have our photo snapped holding up the proper number of fingers, based on the total of the license plate numbers (part two of clue #12), we continued on to Lake Calhoun, where we finished off clue #8 by donating the book, and then embarked on clue #4, which had us canoeing out to a red buoy and back. 

I was quickly reminded that I have not been in a canoe since I last went to summer camp at age 11. Though I managed to recall the very basics of how to steer a canoe, I would later learn that having both paddlers facing each other is not the ideal way to go...perhaps that explains why we spun the canoe around so many times. The good news is that we didn't drown. There really is no bad news, as that was a really fun part of the race. 

After getting our stamp to prove that we had canoed, the four of us were off and running. We thought we had figured out that elusive clue #9 (for bread * cake * pastry) and planned to hop a bus to French Meadow Bakery. Only rather than stopping to determine which bus to take, we just kind of kept walking the 1.5 miles, only to find out that it wasn't the right place (and they were a little tired of people asking, thanks). 

Feeling a little flustered, we decided it would be best to regroup at the neighboring CC Club (number of clues completed: 5). There, I grabbed the yellow pages, ordered a beer, and set out to solve this mystery. Everyone in the bar was eager to try to help, especially this kind old woman (who was drinking at 2 in the afternoon), who insisted that somebody had a bakery in Excelsior and their mother had a cafe nearby and that they sold bread. Right. 

So intent were we to solve this clue (and drink our drinks) that we missed our bus. Oh well, what's another 20 minutes? Drink up.

Once on the bus, we set out to solve the remaining downtown clues. First we hit the bird fountain on Nicollet Mall (clue #3, which was a cryptogram), then I channeled my former cheerleading self to make a human pyramid in front of the pyramid sculpture in front of the IDS Tower, also on Nicollet Mall (clue #7, the other detour option). Thankfully, another team arrived to help with that one, as recruiting strangers to be in a human pyramid can't be easy. 

From there, we walked over to the triangular statue that was pictured in clue #10 (we could have found the cross-streets for it by finding out the number of runs the Minnesota Twins had against the New York Yankees in Wednesday's game and the number of runs they had in Tuesday's game, but luckily Gretchen knew where it was). 

Next stop, the Mill City Museum, the answer to clue #1 (the one that was in Pig Latin): Take a picture of all teammates standing in front of the best smelling museum ever created. Google team headquarters really came through on that one...apparently it has something to do with flour because the museum is in the former Gold Medal Flour factory. I don't know.

Again, we intended to hop a bus back to the West Bank, where the race had started and where we knew we still had two more clues to complete, but we ended up walking the whole 2+ miles. Did I mind? Not really. I was completely distracted by how much fun I was having. 

Having finally given up on clue #9 (therefore making it our skipped clue by default), our last two stops had us feeding each other cookies at the Acadia Cafe and then playing bocce ball at the Nomad Pub. And then we were done! And, in contrast to last year, there were actually other teams around as we walked to the finish line!

So excited at the prospect of beating last year's time, I ran the last block to the finish line. Woohoo!! We did it! No penalties!

As it turns out, the answer to clue #9 was rumored to have been etched in the side of the Gold Medal Flour building, which I suppose makes sense, but I still don't think I would have ever figured it out. 

We finished in slightly under 4 hours, while the winning team - the same team that won last year - finished in 1 hour and 41 minutes. That means they were probably crossing the finish line while we were spinning around on the lake. I know that last year, right here in the comments of this blog, they denied being superhuman, but my new theory is that they are able to teleport. (Maybe they aren't superhuman, they are simply time travelers?)

Anyway, it was a lot of fun. In fact, I'm thinking of devising a scavenger hunt workout routine, as it seems to be the only way I'll ever be motivated to walk that far...

Did we break the top 100? We don't know yet - we're still waiting for results to be posted. 

**UPDATED 7/14/09: Results have been posted and we came in at #130. Oh well.**

Authors Among Us

I love my friends. I try to collect the best ones. So it is with great pride that I tell you that my Published Author/Supermom friend, Erin, is celebrating the release of not one, but two new books this week! (I am so living vicariously right now…)

Check out this fun synopsis of her career that was just published on the Reviewer X blog.

In case you didn’t click that link just now, I should tell you that Erin writes teen novels…for teenagers (and lovers of things teenagers like). One of her new books, though, is for the middle school set (a branching out, if you will).

So if you’ve got kids age 10 and up – or simply want to support a woman who writes novels in addition to raising a toddler and twin infants while working full-time – please run out and buy her books.

The Sunny Side of the Street

I come bearing good news today, blogosphere. 

Firstly, I got a job! At a bakery! Not as a baker, of course, since I have no discernible skills in that area (yet), but at least I will get to hang out with the pastries, inhaling their sweet, sweet goodness. Let no one be surprised if I gain 10 pounds by summer. 

The outpouring of support from my friends has been amazing. I admit it, I feel a little sheepish about returning to the world of (almost) minimum wage food service after once having a mildly successful corporate career. I mean, it's not an obvious step forward. Except it is, kinda. I don't know if it will actually get me any closer to making pastry, but it at least sets me back in motion, heading in a new direction and that's something to be excited about. 

Next, I'm reading a really great book: Writers on Writing: Collected Essays from the New York Times. It's really interesting and insightful to read what writers have to say about their craft. It's inspiring. I think I might be on the cusp of (gasp) actually writing something. 

And for the final good news of the day, my BFF-turned-expat has arrived safely in India. Not that I didn't think he would, but you know, it's still nice to hear. (and if you want to get in on the ground floor of his expat adventures, the link to his blog is over there to the left)

AND the Top Chef finale is on tonight! It's a good day. 

Together Forever

Alright, this weekend I am taking a break from being bummed about my lack of direction and prospects...instead, I'm going to be bummed about one of my BFFs moving clear across the planet* (more specifically, to India). I'm a ray of sunshine lately, I know.

This isn't the first time I've had a friend move away. There was the mass exodus to college, of course, where roughly 90% of my friends flew away to other parts of the country. Then there were the few stragglers who either didn't leave right away or moved back home briefly and then left again. But that was in college and we were all busy starting new lives and it all seemed okay. 

It's harder as an adult, I guess. It's harder to make friends, so the ones I have seem even more precious. Ok, so I know it's not like he's dying or anything -- I'm not trying to be all melodramatic -- but at least with my other friends, there's a chance I might be able to hop a cheap flight or even take a road trip and see them. I don't think I'll ever bank enough miles to score a free flight to Bangalore. 

Plus (and here comes the mushy part), it's him. I'll miss him. He gets me. He shares my cynicism, but is also quick to offer words of encouragement or advice when needed - and not vague, Hallmark card advice, but relevant suggestions. He likes shoes, although he thinks all of mine are ugly. He doesn't mind bringing dinner to my house if my husband is traveling and I can't get a sitter. (that sounded so scandalous that I had to laugh) He's just a really good friend/gay husband. Plus, he's my cosmic twin! Same birthday, same initials. What will I do without him on our birthday this year?

So yes, I'm sad. But I'm also really, really happy for him. I wish that he could find fulfillment somewhere on this continent, but I respect the risk that he's taking and admire his ability to set a goal and reach it. And I also think he's a little crazy, which I suppose is one of the qualities I like about him...

Times like these call for an 80's rock ballad. Yes, this will do:

*You can follow his expat adventures on his blog: Kevin from 55407.

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Have you watched and rated our PB&J Video today?

One More Round

I mentioned in a previous post that I'm going on a weekend getaway with two of my BFFs, one of whom is moving to India. I'm leaving in 3 days and while I'm sure I'd be excited no matter where we were going, I am especially excited because we're headed to my own personal happiest place on earth...

Yes, dear readers, I'm going back to Las Vegas!

Now, I have to admit that I was reticent to announce this trip because, well, I've been to Las Vegas three times already in the last year, which I think is a little excessive (fun, but excessive). However, I decided that if I started trying to sneak off to Vegas in secret, that would really make me an addict, so I'm coming clean. 

Plus, it wasn't actually my decision to go to Vegas this time, so I feel somewhat absolved. Is it my fault that Vegas is responding to our economic crisis by offering ridiculously cheap deals? No, it's simply the universe telling me to go to there. And far be it from me to argue with the universe. 

Will the universe also deliver a jackpot on the Monopoly and/or The Price is Right slot machines? Well, I certainly hope so. Either way, I get to play. 

You'd think I might be less excited about this trip given that I was just there 10 weeks ago. You'd be wrong. If possible, I might be even more excited, as I really didn't think I'd get back to Vegas this year. (Vegas works in mysterious ways.) 

I am hoping that my excitement will distract me from the heartbrokenness I feel about my friend moving so very far away. I think it will at least allow me to delay the feeling for another few days...yes, Vegas should be pretty good for that. 

Princess Mania and Recovering from It

The boys got their first classmate birthday party invite of the year! As much as I don't really enjoy the uncertainties of buying gifts for kids I don't know and then having to go through the whole "Do I have to stay? Or can I go enjoy 2 hours alone?" aspect of classmate birthday parties, I don't take those invites for granted. I worry that as they get older, those invites might not always come. Or worse, that they might come for one and not the other. 

It's really hard to say which of them will have a harder time socially. Obviously, Owen is expected to be socially awkward -- that's pretty much the definition of high-functioning autism -- but on the flip side, one of the gifts of autism is that even if he doesn't make a lot of friends, he probably won't care all that much. My little Aidan, on the other hand, wants to be everyone's friend but doesn't realize that he alienates people (yes, already at age 5) with his extraordinary intelligence and inability to stop talking. I often find myself worrying more for him just because he takes everything so hard.  

So maybe the best scenario is that the invites just stop coming for both of them...okay, so I'm over simplifying, but it would make it a little easier if they were equally as socially awkward, wouldn't it?  Maybe they'll actually feel less awkward because they're both so awkward. And I know a parent's unconditional love only means so much to kids at a certain age, but at least they can always count on us to embrace their weirdness. 

But I digress...back to the birthday party. This party is for a girl, which at least meant I got to shop for girly toys! And yes, we always buy two gifts (one from each kid) because we try not to treat them as a single entity in hopes that no one else will treat them as such when their birthdays roll around. 

I know it's considered gauche or whatever to assume that people will give your kid gifts, but I've never been to a birthday party where gifts were not expected, so I wish we, as parents, could all agree to simply provide a little direction on the invite. Like, "Billy is obsessed with trucks but is terrified of Bob the Builder." Or, "Sally is totally into painting and she hates Barbie." Or even, "We don't allow guns in our house and yes, that includes squirt guns." You know, something. 

But no, I was left to fend for myself. The boys, of course, could provide zero insight on what this girl likes, but I managed to find out that they think she has a Disney Princesses backpack, which is something at least...I mean, if it's even true.

So anyway, I went to Target ready to buy some princessy things, but the aisle of pink boxes paralyzed me. And there I stood, thinking: How much does this girl really like princesses? Does she want to be one? (but, really, who doesn't?) Would she like to dress up in a gown and carry a wand? Or is that too obvious and she already has enough gowns and wands? (I imagine that if I had a daughter, she would be fully stocked on dresses and wands.) Does she want to play with tiny Cinderella figurines? Do little girls even know who Cinderella is these days or is it all about Ariel and Belle? Should I get her the princess make-up kit or will her mother recoil in horror at the thought of her 6-year-old being given make-up, even it's made by Disney? Will she balk at the little fairy playset because she already has the super-giant fairyland mansion? 

Then I stopped and reminded myself that these gifts were to be from my boys. Even if they weren't actually picking them out (because I've learned that no good can come of that), they should still be things that my boys would realistically be excited to give their little friend.  So I grabbed the fairy lantern that my boys have been eyeing since last Christmas and then I went to the board game aisle and picked out Scrabble, Jr., the Dora the Explorer version. 

And now I feel slightly less crazy, because even if the kid hates her gifts, at least they're purchases we can stand behind. 

Giving Thanks

Here is where I write the floweriest, most eloquent post about how thankful I am for my husband and my kids. About how much they mean to me, and not in that syrupy Hallmark way, but with meaningful words that accurately convey the depths of my emotions...

Except that's really not gonna happen, so instead, here are some other things I'm feeling thankful for as I sit here in my Cakespy Yum! apron, preparing for the fiasco that will so be my annual Thanksgiving brunch. 

I am thankful...

1. for pumpkin pancakes. They are not only delicious, but they gave me an excuse to make brunch our tradition, thus freeing me from ever having to cook a turkey.

2. that my dad was here the first Thanksgiving that I ever made these pumpkin pancakes and that he held my boys even though they were still tiny and it made him totally uncomfortable.

3. for Starbucks and their seasonal drinks. I can't help but feel better when sipping a peppermint mocha. 

4. for my therapist, who helps me make sense of the chaos that is often my life and pushes me to act out of love rather than fear.

5. for Tivo, for allowing me to feed my reality TV addiction without ever having to remember when anything is on.  

6. for my friends, who listen patiently and always say the right things when I am in the midst of a crisis, even though they probably have other things they'd rather be doing.

7. for Las Vegas, where I will be just 76 hours from now(!), evading the nervous breakdown that's been knocking at my door.  

8. for everyone who reads my blog. It's really an honor to have so many people take time out of their day to read my random thoughts and neurotic ramblings. (Comments are always appreciated!)

There's more, of course, but my brunch guests are arriving in 40 minutes, so I must get out of my head and back into the kitchen. I hope you all find lots to be thankful for today.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

I'm struggling with this Christmas thing...I guess I struggle with it every year. I want to shop. I like to shop. I don't really get to shop much (groceries don't count). Alas, the budget does not allow for shopping. 

But it's not really about wanting to shop, it's more that I'd really like to get all of my friends presents. I enjoy picking out the exact right thing for each person. I even like wrapping. If I could, I'd totally be one of those people perpetually giving out random gifts because "I saw it and it reminded me of you." I'd like to be that person. 

I think what it is -- and this might surprise those of you who only know me through the blogosphere -- is that I'm not very emotional (unless I'm watching ER or Extreme Makeover: Home Edition), so gifts are sort of a way to tell people what they mean to me without having to get all sappy about it. 

In lieu of gifts, I always have this idea that I'm going to send all of my friends exquisite Christmas cards, in which I will write exactly the right thing...words that will touch them so deeply that they will shed a tear and keep that card for eternity, referring back to it now and then to be reminded of how special our friendship is. Like a Hallmark commercial come to life!

Right. Except you see, I get hung up on this sappy thing. This fear that being too sentimental will creep everybody out. Or, that I won't be able to find the right words and I'll write something entirely stupid.

The solution to this, of course, is to simply send photo cards that only have room for our names and maybe "Happy Holidays!" I do love photo cards.

Will this year be different? Well, probably not. But maybe I'll find the courage to write some of those things anyway. Even if it's not Christmas. Just because. 

If You Only Had a Blog

I wish all of my friends had blogs. Especially the ones who live far away, but really all of them. 

It would just be so nice to get regular updates on what they are doing or thinking or freaking out about. Updates that I can get while, say, my kids are playing the loudest game of tag known to man...or during the two minutes it takes to make my morning tea...or when I wake up at 7 a.m. and am home alone with my children and all of my childless friends are still tucked happily away in bed. 

And yes, I know you're thinking: Have you heard of email? Maybe I'm just a bad email friend, but most of my email conversations tend to have a specific topic, which then peeters out after a couple exchanges. I don't often find myself emailing each of my friends to say, "Hello! How are you? What's new? Let me tell you about my day." It sounds nice and all, but it just doesn't happen. Plus, a blog lets the author just say what's on their mind vs. answering questions about things that maybe aren't a big deal at the moment. 

I've mentioned this universal blog wish to a few of my non-blogging friends (which is most of them) and they all laugh and go on about how they have nothing to blog about. Except of course that's not true because, as far as I know, none of them spend their days sitting in an empty room staring at a wall. I mean, even if all they ever did was watch TV they'd have something to blog about (I do love a good TV blog). They are all thinking people with things going on in their lives. 

I also don't accept the excuse that anyone is too busy to blog, as I think we all find time to stare at the Internet for some chunk of our day or week and since a blog can be whatever you want it to be, it doesn't have to take a lot of time to write one. 

So anyway, I'm just putting that out there on the off chance anyone has been teetering on the edge of blogdom, wondering if they should take the plunge. Jump in! I can guarantee you at least one reader.