It's as if my career is a tower of blocks…like every job, every promotion, every “skill” I’ve acquired has been stacked up precariously over the years and now it’s all tumbling down on me. So now I have to decide if I want to rebuild the tower with the same blocks or find some new ones. It’s daunting.
I used to want to write for Rolling Stone. Now I can barely read most of that crap. I used to feel like I could hit up editors anywhere with a story idea and have a shot at actually getting an assignment. I used to think that getting a college degree was an assurance of something…job security? Never having to stand behind a counter asking, “Would you like a drink with that?” again.
I suppose the question of fulfillment went unasked. I suppose I just assumed that if I got a degree and then did something with that degree, then viola!, I would be a productive citizen and therefore be fulfilled. Honestly, I have no idea what I thought. I don’t think I thought at all.
So here I am, pondering veering off into a second career (of the baking variety), while still nursing the wounds of the first one. The truth is that I don’t feel very good at much of anything at the moment. I’m not convinced that I possess any actual skills, just a lot of fantasies and questions. The fact that I’ve spent enough time doing enough things to fill a resume seems of little consequence.
All if this is to say that I went in to get an application at a bakery/café today - a part-time job remotely related to my love of pastry - and ended up having an interview, which threw me into a bit of a panic attack (not the medical kind, more my own personal kind of panic attack). How do I navigate this place where getting a college degree and working in a profession for a decade actually makes you less qualified for the job? I had to go back and use examples from my teenage years to show that I had a clue about working in food service. And really, I don’t blame the manager for being suspicious…
What am I doing here? I’m not sure. I guess I’m trying something new…something else…I guess I’m just doing something because something is better than nothing…though it’s no less confusing.
***************************
Have you watched and rated our PB&J Video today?
No comments:
Post a Comment