The gist is that he owes us money. We didn't lend him any, but we paid for football and he chose to drop out 3 days in -- coming to us to say he'd pay us back the almost-$200 we paid. Great. Except he doesn't want to do anything to earn any money - he just knew what he had to say to escape a big lecture.
In fact, now he wants us to give him money (we nixed the allowance as soon as we found out he was buying drugs with it). His new position is that the child support we collect from his birth mother is his and we are obligated to give it to him. By not doing so, we are greedy and obviously profiting from his misery. To which I say, talk to me when you have any idea what it takes to run a household.
How is it possible that we raised someone with zero integrity and virtually no common sense? I mean, if there's one thing I've got, it's common fu*king sense -- have I failed to pass this trait on to the boy I have raised for more than 11 years? It seems impossible.
Yes, yes, teenagers are dumb. But sometimes I worry that he's especially dumb. Like he has some sort of immunity to reason. His actions are so shoot-yourself-in-the-foot stupid that I really just have no response. This leaves me with the feeling that I will either simply grin and bear the rest of his high school career (until he's booted out to face the cruel world on his own) or I will run away to a Caribbean island and teach my boys to make and sell seashell necklaces on the beach.
Neither of these options seems...healthy. So for the sake of sanity, I'm feeling inclined to follow the age-old wisdom that if you've got nothing nice to say, say nothing. (this excludes my blog, of course) Can I say nothing for 21 months?
No, but I can at least say nothing for now.
3 comments:
Gosh, I am very sorry. My brothers really put my Mom through a lot. They didn't listen to anything she had to say EVER.
Maybe he'll get all his fucked-up-ed-ness out of the way while he's young and go on to be highly successful. I didn't freak out about my messed up relationship with my mother until I was 30. That really threw me for a loop, and I had a son and a husband to worry about. Hopefully, with your guidance the teenager will learn some better coping skills early on. Good luck!
Thanks - I agree that it's better for him to get it out while he's still underage and has us as a cushion...it's the fear that he will never know better that gets me.
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