Being a Dad

Today we celebrate the fathers in our lives. I’m guessing a large percentage of us will go eat some steak and call it a day…ah, the simplicity of a holiday devoted to men.

When I met Butch, the fact that he had a child was...well, not a selling point. I was 17 and wanted nothing to do with parenting. In fact, I told myself that I wouldn’t date him simply because he had a kid. I should note here for those who don’t know, that he didn’t just have a child, at age 19 (when we met) he had full custody of his three-year-old and a crazy ex to go with it.

Despite my initial fear at getting involved with a guy with a kid, I always admired him for being a dad. Not for having a kid, but for actually being a dad. For sticking it out when – at age 16 – it would have been easy to run. For fighting to protect his son from a negligent and abusive mother. For seeing his son as the thing that changed his life for the better.

He isn’t perfect, but he is always there and having grown up with a mostly absent father myself, I can tell you that showing up counts for a lot. Making sure your children know they are loved is probably the most important thing you can do.

To be honest, it probably doesn’t really feel like it was all worth it today – with the teenager continuing down his tortuous self-centered path, not even bothering to return calls to invite him to celebrate Father’s Day – but of course it was. No amount of teenage angst can undo the 16 years of stability, support, guidance and love that Butch has given his son.

So in lieu of the thank you he deserves today (which could take another decade or so), I want to say thank you. Thank you for showing me another side of fatherhood and thank you for being such a good daddy to all of our boys.