Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Things We Do

I met with my former/soon-to-be new boss yesterday to go over the details of this fab new job (code name: Ticket to Hawaii), which starts a week from Monday. Then I worked at the bakery this morning, which made me realize that I might actually miss having a zero responsibility job. 

Rolling silverware, cleaning trays, making change...they all seem so straightforward and honest now that I'm once-again faced with having to strategize about enterprise solutions for achieving business objectives. I'm not complaining, I am merely admitting to a faint sense of panic at returning to the world of corporate propaganda. But I will kill the panic by reminding myself of all the lasting memories my family will create on Waikiki Beach — and the pina coladas, I'll think about those, too. 

In my more immediate future, I've got another trip down to Viroqua to think about. This time I'm dragging my husband along for manual labor. We've been together for 13 years and he's never met my grandmother — now he gets to help empty out her house. 

I don't really want to make this trip. I'm torn between feeling like I should do it and knowing that I shouldn't be doing things just because I think I should. Still, when you've got a family as tiny as mine, I guess the "shoulds" just win out. 

The thing is, being around crazy people can start to make you feel crazy. My grandmother is a bit nuts — that's the simplest explanation for why my mother (and subsequently, me) broke ties with her 20 years ago — and in the short time I spent down there with my mom and aunt last week, I started to see the nuttiness rubbing off on them, thus threatening my own sanity. It's bad enough that I know nuttiness runs in my genes...I'd like to save my own sanity for as long as possible. 

Plus, I don't want to leave the boys again and I can't bring them with. Aidan's allergies would make it impossible to have him in that house, nevermind the other factors making it a less-than-desirable place for children. 

So anyway, I'm going. Because I should. Because I make a good buffer between my aunt and my mother. Because I know my grandma will be happy to see me. Because it's not that much of my time and it will be over soon. Sigh.

Btw, it's still Autism Awareness Month and Team Owen has now raised $550! Thanks again to everyone who donated.

Also, the Chicago Tribune ran this article today, which touches on issues similar to what we're seeing (and anticipate seeing) with Owen in school. 

We're basically balancing our hopes between teaching him to learn to function in an environment designed for neurotypical children, and helping his teachers understand that usually all he needs is a little extra understanding (and maybe several more reminders than the other kids). He's high-functioning enough to be mainstreamed, but not neurotypical enough to excel in the existing constructs of public school. It just seems like we're all guessing here...I hope we can do better before he gets much older. 

For more information on autism, visit Autism Speaks

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