Sunday, March 30, 2008

Haven't I Mentioned...?

An interesting thing happened as a result of my email and blog calling for donations to Team Owen on Friday. We've not only raised more than $1500 (and counting!), but several people have contacted me to say they didn't know about Owen's diagnosis.

It’s a little weird that people I consider friends didn’t know, but, of course, I am entirely to blame…

When he was first diagnosed nearly two years ago, I wasn’t exactly shouting it from the rooftops. In fact, I was in disbelief. I was scared and unsure and really, really sad. So I didn’t tell anyone – save for a handful of people from whom I couldn’t hide my breakdown.

Then, after doing the research and reminding myself he was still the same little boy, label or no label, I still didn’t tell people, only this time it was a test of sorts…I think I wanted to pass him off as “normal” thinking that if nobody noticed, then he didn’t really have it, or some such nonsense. I know it wasn’t the healthiest of approaches, but my heart was in the right place; I just didn’t want anyone to place any limitations on him.

Slowly but surely, I accepted the diagnosis and I did start telling people, but it wasn’t like, “Hey! Owen has autism, how are you?” If an opportunity didn’t present itself, I didn’t make a point of bringing it up. I just didn’t want people feeling sorry for me or for him.

Which brings us to the present, where apparently an opportunity still had not presented itself with a few of my friends and acquaintances. So I am all the more thankful for World Autism Awareness Day and Autism Speaks, because they gave me the opportunity to, essentially, shout it from the rooftops: MY SON HAS AUTISM!

And while it’s not what I would have wanted for him, it’s part of who he is. And I want to know why. And I want to know how to help him learn and live to the best of his abilities. And when he is old enough, I want to give him an explanation for his quirks. And I want it to be better than some vague disorder that people don’t really understand…I want him to have answers. He deserves that. Thank you for helping make that possible.

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