Questions on a Cure

There is a lot of controversy over whether autism is something that we should be trying to "cure" (in case you're still confused, there is no cure, despite what any former Playboy bunny says). There's an entire neurodiversity movement that feels it is insulting that the medical community would try to cure or remove the traits of autism when autism is really just an alternate way of being. 

Now, I agree that we need to figure out how to better support people with autism and part of that is increased awareness and acceptance.

But I don't think it's reasonable to say to a mother of a child with autism so severe that he can't speak, for example, that she is selfish or bigoted because she wants the medical community to find out what's causing this disorder and then find a way to help her child speak.

When it comes to this debate, the question I always ask myself is, would I want Owen to be "cured" if that were possible? Would I want to change who he is so that maybe his life would be a little easier?

The other night at dinner, Owen was being particularly spacey, getting distracted between every bite of food. As usual, I asked him to try really hard to focus on eating, but his gaze kept wandering off and we had to redirect him to his plate.

So I asked, "Are you having a hard time focusing tonight?"

"Yeah," he answered.

"Does it bother you that you have trouble focusing?”

“No,” he said. And although I don’t think this response was intended to convey a pro-neurodiversity stance, it did occur to me that his autism bothers me more often than it bothers him. But he’s only five.

The thing is, I love who he is and I wouldn't want to risk losing any of the extraordinary parts of him in exchange for some illusion of normalcy. So I don’t think I would choose to “cure” him. 

But I would love to see a day where he could make that decision for himself. I hope we get there.