Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Working at not working

I've mentioned my return to corporate America. I've been hesitant to provide updates on that, since 1) it's not that exciting, and 2) you never know who might stumble upon your blog. 

But without getting into specifics, I thought it was blogworthy to mention that what started as a part-time gig is creeping into becoming a full-time gig...or rather, it would if I let it. 

When I quit my former corporate job, I thought I'd stay home for a year, have an epiphany and then go on to do meaningful work and make lots of money...or write a best-selling novel or something. Well, thanks to my good fortune in freelancing, one year turned into 3 1/2 (with momentary lapses into employment here and there).

I never had that epiphany, but I did get to spend a lot of time with my kids...finally enough time that I could actually leave them now and then without feeling horribly guilty (overcoming my overcompensation for being a latchkey kid). 

I always said I'd go back to work full-time when they started first grade. It seemed reasonable enough, right? And yet somehow that day is now quickly approaching (in fact, it's two months from tomorrow) and I still don't want to go back to work full-time. I don't think it's pure laziness, either. It's feeling like there's no way in hell I can keep up with all the other stuff if I'm trapped in an office for 40 hours a week. 

I don't begrudge anyone for choosing to work full-time, mind you. Actually, I'm thinking that families where both parents work full-time deserve some sort of award if they still manage to keep their households and families intact. I know it can be done, I just don't want to do it. Not if I don't have to. Not yet.

And so, when my boss informed me last week that she would be able to bring me on full-time this fall, I fought the part of me that was screaming about being practical and paying off the credit card and I countered with an offer to work 30 hours a week, which will get me home in time to greet my boys as they get off the school bus in the afternoon. 

It's probably not the smartest financial or career move, but it's a happy medium. And it buys me some more time while I await that epiphany...it's coming, I just know it. 

1 comment:

~Michelle @ Don't Eat That Cookie~ said...

Yay for you putting family first!
My mom was always home for us when we got off the bus. I can't imagine how different life would have been if we'd gone somewhere besides home after school. I loved having her there to celebrate great days or to wipe away tears when mean kids had picked on me or if I'd just had a rough day.
Being mom is way more important than paying off a credit card!