Wardrobe Perils

On Monday we had a big important event (BIE) at work, complete with local government officials and media. So I tried to cobble together an exceptionally professional-looking outfit from the hodge-podge of clothes I have leftover from my previous days in corporate America. 

I've really only bought a handful of office clothes since starting this job (mostly because of money, but also because I guess I still don't feel like it's a permanent thing), which leaves me scrambling almost every morning to figure out what to wear. Especially with this extra weight I seem to have put on in the last year or so...sigh.

So anyway, in an attempt to appear professional, I decided to wear the black pencil skirt I bought on clearance at the Gap recently. It was the first time I'd worn it, as I usually avoid skirts because A) they require me to shave my legs before work, and B) my legs are virtually translucent thanks to my aversion to shorts. 

So I get to work, looking halfway like a grown up who works for a Fortune 500 company, and all is well for an hour. Then I make the stupid mistake of using the restroom (Starbucks, I blame you)...this is where I run into trouble. Upon attempting to re-zip my skirt, the zipper appears stuck, so I spin it around to get a better look and learn that it's not just stuck, it's actually split all the way open...the zipper that spans a good 6 inches down from my waist....

Was it split open before I went into the bathroom? For my own sense of pride, let's just assume not. But it was certainly split beyond repair now. 

This is where that teeny, tiny clasp that they put above zippers on women's clothing, which usually seems to serve no purpose, actually saved the day. Or, at least, it allowed me to walk briskly back to my desk to grab my purse, descend the three stories to the front door and scurry out to my van without my skirt ending up around my ankles. Thank you, tiny clasp. 

And so, I made the 40-minute commute back home to change clothes and hurry back to the office before the dignitaries showed up for the BIE. 

I could make this into a tirade about getting older and struggling with my weight for the first time in my life and how I either need to decide to start working out or buy bigger clothes, but that can all wait for another blog...instead, I'm blaming the Gap for shoddy workmanship. And they better take the f*ing skirt back.