Secret Autism?

I'm a few days behind on this, but I finally caught up on "Parenthood" and had to ask: Is the storyline of keeping Max's Asperger's diagnosis a secret from him rooted in any type of reality?

Look, I know that it's TV and I forgive the fact that nearly every family drama gets neatly wrapped up in a bow after two episodes (mostly because I like Lauren Graham and her kids so much), but the autism/Asperger's storyline has bugged me from the start.

I have no issue with the portrayal of Max. In fact, I think that the actor who plays him does an amazing job - so amazing, that I had to Google him to make sure he doesn't really have autism. I see bits of Owen in every one of Max's monologues and meltdowns. (Owen even has that shirt Max is wearing.)

But this idea that Max is 8 years old, goes to a school for special needs kids, has a full-time developmental aide and doesn't know that he has Asperger's...I don't get it. It doesn't make logical or even TV sense to me. Do people do that to their kids? And are there 8 year-old Aspies who haven't yet started to ask questions? It's so illogical to me that I'm wondering whether it could possibly be based on an experience that one of the producers has had, because otherwise I can't even figure out why they'd make it up.

I don't want people who aren't familiar with autism to think that it's something we hide from our kids until they accidentally overhear us fighting about it one day.

We told Owen he had autism when he was four or five. I don't know when exactly, because it doesn't stand out as a monumental occasion. We didn't stay up all night explaining it, as it appears they're going to do on "Parenthood" next week. After more than a year of seeing therapists and then starting a more intensive preschool program than his twin brother, it was obvious to him that he was different somehow.

We'd always said, "You just need extra help with some things," and then -- maybe it was around his re-evaluation, where we'd hoped to determine whether he actually had classic autism or if he was in the Asperger's category (he meets the criteria for autism, but seems more functional thana lot of kids I've seen with Asperger's, but that's another topic) -- one day we said, "The reason you need extra help sometimes is that you have autism." We've always said that it just means his brain works a little bit differently. That he's just as smart as Aidan, but he just sometimes has trouble with things that Aidan and other kids don't.

Owen is fine with it. Aidan is fine with it. We talk about it freely, particularly when Owen is having a meltdown. It helps Owen understand why he struggles and it helps Aidan understand why we don't always treat his brother's fits the same as his own.

Actually, Owen is more than fine with it. Sometimes he uses it to elevate himself to special status in comparison with his brother ("Well, I'm the one with autism.") and just a few months ago, he came home from school and announced that he had started an Autism Club with a girl in his class who has Asperger's. I think that's pretty awesome.

I can't imagine why parents would choose to treat it as something to be hidden. A secret that even the person afflicted with it shouldn't know...I just don't get it, and I'm curious if anyone out there can explain it to me? Does this really happen? And do people actually think it's a good idea?