The Hindering of Progress

I read this letter by Special Olympics chairman, Timothy Shriver, today.

I've been hearing a lot lately...maybe for the last couple years...about the word "retard." Back when "Tropic Thunder" was released, there was a lot of hub-bub and, I'll be honest, I agreed that it was distasteful, but I also thought that all the protests were lost on the teenage boy demographic, at whom that movie was targeted.

I'll be even more honest and say that I didn't really care about the word until I had a son with autism. I didn't use it, but it didn't make me cringe the way it does now. I fully support Mr. Shriver's position that the word is harmful to the intellectually disabled, but, on a personal level, that's not what made me hate the word.

I hate the word because it's a lazy, hateful embodiment of ignorance that could one day be thrown at my son, who is not even mentally disabled. For that reason alone I feel compelled to eliminate it from the lexicon...because autism and intellectual disability do not go hand in hand. In Owen's case, he might actually be more brilliant because of this disorder.

The thing is, most people I know who use the word don't do so out of hatred. It's just too easy to call people and behaviors you don't understand, "retarded." But really, once you're past, say, 16 and your brain has begun to unscramble, there's just no excuse for such laziness.

So for those of you having trouble ridding your vocabulary of this word, here's my advice:

If you really have a problem with someone, first, make sure the person in question isn't actually mentally disabled. (If they are, and you still want to insult them, you may want to seek professional help.) Second, take a moment to think about what particular characteristic you really want to criticize and then choose your words accordingly. I guarantee that "retard" is not the appropriate word for the occasion, no matter how small-minded you might be feeling.

Together, we can kill the word. And start sounding smarter in the process.

Pride Should Be Rewarded

Readers, I'm referring you to the 37 Days blog today because I think Patti Digh wrote a really nice entry about this ridiculous issue with the girl in Indiana who wants to wear a tuxedo to her prom. 

My initial reaction was that someone should maybe tell this girl that prom is waaaaay overrated and probably not worth all the trouble, but obviously I admire her conviction and her willingness to draw attention to the inequality. That's not something that's always easy to do - especially as a teenager. 

Plus, as a parent, it hurts me anytime I see a school promoting bigotry. How sad that if a teenager is comfortable enough to announce her sexuality to the world, rather than reward her self-assuredness, the school district condemns it...hiding their hate behind a policy. What kind of example does that set?