Fun Yummy Drama

It's Wednesday! That means that it's Top Chef All-Stars night!

Unfortunately, it's now just minutes away from tonight's episode...I wish I'd been organized enough to start blogging about it back when it started two weeks ago, but you know, better late than never, right? Plus, two weeks ago I only knew that I thought it was going to be awesome to see so many of our favorite Cheftestants all in one place. And now I know that it is awesome.

Fabio! Spike! Richard! Tre! You may be wondering if I like any of the women chefs...well, I thought I really liked Jamie until she turned out to have become some crazy diva chef since last we saw her. And I'm a big fan of Jennifer Carroll's food at 10 Arts, but well, I can't say I'm a big fan of hers...especially after last week.

Then you add Anthony Bourdain into the mix and it's culinary competition nirvana! I love this season so much that I wish every episode was 2 hours. Actually, if they did a 24-hour Top Chef channel, I'd just watch that. Well, that is unless my other dream of the 24-hour Amazing Race channel was realized, in which case I'd need to switch back and forth.

Yeah, so this blog as no point other than to say: I love this show! It's exactly what I need on a Wednesday night. Fun yummy drama. FYD.

Who will pack their knives this week? Let's hear it for Antonia! (I'm sure she's a lovely person and all, but was she really even all All-Star?)

The Fanciest Tasting Menu Race

"It's not death, it's just cake" is my new motto.

If you haven't been watching "Top Chef: Just Desserts," you've been missing out. Probably lots of people say it's not as interesting as the original Top Chef because it's all one general idea (Make a fantastic dessert...GO!), but those people must not have enough cake, ice cream, or salted caramel in their lives. I love it. Plus, it's fun to see how weird pastry chefs apparently are...I mean, Seth is making Marcel look almost suave. (P.S. Am I going to have to wait for the reunion to find out how Heather gashed her forehead open?)

If you've missed Just Desserts until now, the good news is that you've still got lots of season left. The same is not true if you missed "The Great Food Truck Race," which I really think was the most under-publicized and under-rated food show of the summer. (I say that having no idea how it was publicized or received by critics.)

With the premise being simply that six food trucks were going to drive around the country trying to outsell each other - and with the host being everyone's favorite Applebee's chef Tyler Florence - there was a high risk of failure for The Food Truck Race. But fail, it did not.

Sure, it might have been even more fun if they'd made the teams solve clues to figure out where to go and what to do, but as it was, the way they'd make them drive to some new city and then set them loose to figure out how to get their ingredients and where to park their trucks and how to make the most money, was awesome. The lack of strict rules was pretty refreshing, as most reality shows pretty much control everything so tightly that contestants rarely have room to show how they got good at what they do in the first place. But alas, it's over. All I can do is hope for a season 2...and watch "The Amazing Race," which finally started its new season on Sunday!

I love treasure hunts. I love clues. I love travel. The Amazing Race is all of that, plus reality television drama. And I'm happy to see that they're bringing back the requirement that contestants have a tiny bit of common sense in order to solve some of their clues. If you've ever watched the early seasons (they are now in season 17!), they used to make the clues kinda hard. Then it got dumbed down to the point that no one really had to figure anything out, they just went where the next card told them to go...which, I should add, did not stop me from watching the show, but I like it better when there's more room for error.

While I don't particularly fantasize about being a contestant on The Amazing Race due to all of the surprise bungee-jumping and bug eating, I do fantasize about running around the world solving clues and traveling for free...maybe with more happiness and fun and less fear and injury.

But as soon as the Top Chef producers get together with The Amazing Race producers to create some sort of competition involving racing around the world to eat gourmet food, I'm totally in.

The Fluffy Stuff

Wow, turn around for a second and it's been 11 days since you last blogged.

I never told you this, blogosphere, but I had been toying with the idea of writing a 25 days of Christmas blog...or rather blogs, since there would have to be 25 of them. But then I couldn't narrow down the theme enough to make it feel manageable...and then, well, it turns out that I had almost nothing to blog about for nearly half of the month, so I guess it's good that I didn't take on that particular challenge. Whew.

Not to say that the contents of my last blog were nothing, mind you. In fact, I thought I might have to make a very special appointment with my therapist in order to process that bit of information (therapy has been put on hiatus), but as with most things, it fades with each morning that I wake up. Now I'd say it's been moved from my mental "examples of failure to protect unborn children" file and put in the "possible explanations for Owen's autism" folder...which is to say that it's soaking into the fabric of my daily existence...which is okay.

Man, I hate it when serious stuff creeps into what I think are going to be light and fluffy blogs. Well, in an effort to balance out the heft of the beginning of this entry, let's talk about reality television, shall we?

Danny won Biggest Loser by losing more than half of his original body weight in, what, less than 6 months? There's no way that can be healthy, but it sure does make for good TV. Plus, Shay gets to come back and get paid $1000 for every additional POUND she loses! Forget health, Subway knows how to motivate.

Top Chef Las Vegas is also over and the egomaniac won. This displeases me. I feel like they were all fairly equal in terms of culinary talent and therefore one of the two nice guys should have taken the grand prize. But did you see this interview with the winning Voltaggio? Did he say he has children or is he speaking in the future tense? Because I don't remember ever hearing about any children and it makes me a little sad to think he might have some, but never mentioned them. Oh, and on one other Top Chef-related note, did you hear about this? It's like my dreams became television producers.

The Amazing Race also came to an exciting close. Perhaps to make up for Top Chef's change of locales for the finale (or not), it ended in Las Vegas! I have to say it was one of my favorite Amazing Race finales even though it didn't have all the suspense of making them fly from, say, Alaska to Hawaii mid-leg. It was no surprise who won, but it was still fun. My Sunday nights now feel empty.

Somehow it's already time for the finale of So You Think You Can Dance. I feel like the auditions took longer than the competition. My favorite part of this season was the guest appearance of The Legion of Extraordinary Dancers. Not that some of the contestants aren't great dancers, but those guys seem to defy gravity. As for picking a winner, I like Legacy and Russell, but I don't really care that much.

And over in the category of happy returns, both Intervention and Hoarders are back! Hooray for dysfunction and mental illness! I know, I know, but how can you possibly look away? Plus, sometimes they get better, which makes it all okay, right? Right?

There's more, I'm sure, but my Tivo is calling me.

Mile One

In honor of it being Biggest Loser night, I have a confession that I've been meaning to make: I can't run a mile.

In fact, I almost put "Run a mile" on my 40 by 40 list, but then quickly changed it to "Run a 5k" because that seemed less pathetic. Yes, it seems that my years of disinterest in fitness have, in fact, caught up with me.

Now, I am happy to report that if I was forced to race a mile the way that the Biggest Loser contestants were last week, it is highly unlikely that I would need to be taken to the hospital (as two of the contestants were). However, the fact remains that I, like them (they?), cannot run a mile.

I got back on the treadmill wagon last month and it's been going well...in that I haven't quit. However, even my moderate walking interspersed with my sad attempts at jogging have me averaging an 18-minute mile, which is about 4 minutes slower than the time in which Daniel (the winner) finished his mile last week. There's something about this that disturbs me...

On the bright side, I can now run 1/4 of a mile without dying. My next goal is to walk 1/4, run 1/4, walk 1/4 and run the last 1/4 (also without dying). Given that I don't have a trainer to yell at me during my workout, I think it's a reasonable goal. And someday, in the distant future, I hope to run 5,280 whole feet in a row.

Do you think I could get my own reality show that follows me training to run a mile? That would make for some suspenseful television.

Disturbed

Well, Monday now promises to be the most disturbing night on television. 

After having watched Intervention, Obsessed and Jon and Kate Plus 8 last night (thanks, Tivo), am I still thinking about the heroine addict who sold all of his possessions to buy drugs? The obsessive-compulsive who wears her dead father's bloody clothes? No, I'm still pondering the public implosion of Jon and Kate's relationship.

I don't read tabloids unless I'm on a plane (really, that's the only time I allow myself to buy US Weekly), but, like everyone, I had heard about the alleged affairs. I knew that people were saying terrible things. But I didn't really believe any of it. And I didn't think anyone would let it impact the show. (If you're sitting there wondering WTF this is all about, the Vancouver Sun ran this snarky-but-decent recap of the drama.)

Last night's episode was just sad. Really sad. I think they actually think they are putting up some sort of facade. To listen to them go on and on about how they are committed to making sure that their kids don't get hurt in all of this, while they are essentially broadcasting the demise of their relationship to the world...it's delusional. 

I mean, some level of delusion is probably normal (even necessary) during a traumatic time, but it's not the kind of thing I'd want documented for the rest of my life. Or my kids' lives. 

I just don't know how they can possibly keep doing a show. There's paparazzi watching their kids' birthday party. They can hardly look at each other. It's creepy and sad and just depressing. And not entertaining (and this is coming from someone who enjoys shows about addicts hitting rock bottom).

Make it stop, TLC. Make it stop. 

Filler

When I don't blog for a long stretch (like lately), I like to tell myself that it's because I couldn't think of anything to blog about...only that's not really true, since most of what I blog about is the mundane and I've got lots of mundanity to spare. 

So I have no excuses, really, other than taking on two extra projects (Hawaii, here we come!), plus working my still-newish job in corporate America...yet I still found time to blog about American Idol last week, but you know, I was moved in that case. 

I expect to be moved in, perhaps, a different way this evening when I watch the season premiere of Intervention and the series premiere of Obsessed. As I said to my friends yesterday, I would watch a 24/7 network devoted to addicts and the strange things they do. It's sick and wrong, but I guess that's sort of what morbid curiosity is all about. And clearly I'm not alone in this, as I stumbled upon a Facebook group tastefully titled, "I'm Addicted to Intervention," which has more than 3,000 members. (Can we all be wrong?)

Right, so what was I saying about having nothing to blog about? Yeah, that. I'll try harder tomorrow.

Tracks of my Tears

**Spoiler alert for those living under rocks**

The first time I ever watched American Idol was the year Ruben won. I attributed my tears during the finale to the fact that I was laid up in a hospital bed, six months pregnant with twins. (As a side note, we almost named Owen "Ryan," but Ryan Seacrest made me rethink that decision.)

Six years later, I can't really blame my kids anymore, so I just have to accept it: American Idol makes me cry. Not every episode, mind you, just the finale. 

I can't help it. There's something about seeing a person realize their dreams -- regardless of if they later look back and regret the whole thing, or if they never put out a decent record, or if they're just in love with celebrity -- there's something about that moment when the single thing that they wanted more than anything becomes theirs. 

I don't know, maybe it's just a manifestation of my childhood desire to be a singer. Or I'm just sappy. But I love it. Not all the product placement and horrible song choices and cheesy guest appearances, just the part where you can see that flicker in their eyes and you know their lives are changed. Who knew American Idol had such depth?

Lest you think I drank the whole pitcher of Kool-aid, I do want to point out that during the part of "We are the Champions" when all the eliminated contestants emerged through the smoke, all I could think about was the song near the end of "Les Miserables" when all the ghosts come out singing. Creepy. 

But congrats, Kris! I voted for you...in my mind. 

Celebrities, Cake and Poorly-Managed Corporate Contests

Did anyone else watch The Celebrity Apprentice last night? I half-expected Candy Finnigan to come strolling into the boardroom. I didn't think it was possible, but I actually felt bad for Dennis Rodman. Not that they weren't all right about him, I just think maybe the intervention could have been held off camera. 

In other TV news (I use that term loosely), I believe that food shows are taking over my life...or, at least, my Tivo. Between Iron Chef, Chopped and Challenge, the Food Network is rivaling Bravo for my affections. 

This "Last Cake Standing" business will likely tip the scales in FN's favor. An elimination-style competition involving fancy cake decorating? It's like the best TV show ever. The only way I think it could possibly be better would be if the chefs had to travel the world, searching for clues that would tell them what to bake and how to decorate their creations...and then they would have to race, while carrying the cakes, to the finish line. Yes, I'm sure that would be a hit.  

Oh, and speaking of the Food Network, one last thing: 

I'm 98% sure we did not win the Welch's Ultimate PB&J Challenge. I have arrived at this conclusion based purely on the fact that I have not received any communication about the contest. Since they mysteriously took the contest website down, I emailed Welch's to try to find out who won and received this form letter (please note that I emailed them on March 26):

Thank you for contacting Welch's.

On our about March 25, 2009 representatives from the Food Network Kitchen and the Welch’s team, will review each of the Finalist Submissions and rank finalists and select (1) overall Grand Prize winner. The decision of the judges will be final and binding in all matters. The winner will be confirmed by U.S. mail and/or telephone and must meet all eligibility requirements including the timely execution and return of all necessary releases and documents required by sponsors.

We hope this information is helpful.

No, it's really not. But what I am deducing is that a winner was contacted and they must now wait to receive all of that winner's "necessary releases and documents" back before they can announce anything. Aside from being bummed about not winning, I just think the whole contest could have been managed better. I mean, they've got everyone's email addresses, would it be too much trouble to inform us that a winner has been chosen and that it wasn't us? Apparently. Oh well, better luck next time. 

But, seeing as Welch's clearly isn't very interested in retaining the customers it may have attracted with this contest, let's all feel free to buy whatever brand of jelly we want. I'm kind of partial to Smucker's Simply Fruit. 

Yes, I'm a little bitter.

Not That I'm Taking the Credit...

I'm thinking that Fabio has a time machine that allowed him to come to the future yesterday, read my blog, accept the challenge of surprising me, and go back in time to last night's episode so that he could not just win the challenge, but kill it with a broken hand. 

How else can you explain his vault from good to "he could open a restaurant tomorrow and this would be his signature dish" great? Luck? Timing? The alignment of stars?

No, time travel (and the reading of my blog) is totally the most plausible explanation. Case closed.

Fabio-lous

Let's have a Top Chef moment, shall we? 

It's been a good season, although the product placement challenges are way out of hand. Was Quaker Oats really hoping to attract a whole new demographic by forcing a bunch of chefs to try to make something edible out of oatmeal and meat? You can see the contempt on all of the contestants' faces every time Padma announces the latest corporate sponsor. 

But anyway, onto more recent events. I was devastated to lose Jamie last week. I was really pulling for her to win the whole thing. Yes, she could be a bitch, but she could also cook, which is more than I can say for Miss "I just kinda gave up" Leah, who is only still there because the producers are hoping she'll hop in bed with someone...anyone.

I like Hosea, but he keeps screwing up. Ditto for Carla, plus I can't tell if she's the right amount of wacko or too much. I can't stand Stefan. I'm sure he cooks good food, but his pomposity is grating. 

Which leaves me rooting for Fabio tonight. I've found him (and his complete frustration with the competition: "Thatsa not cooking, thatsa rushing.") endearing for weeks, but I'm not sure if he's strong enough to win it. Still, I'm hoping he'll surprise me...or, at the very least, not get eliminated tonight. Go Fabio!

TV head

Wednesday has arrived, which means another new episode of Top Chef tonight! 

I've decided to root for Jamie. It would be awesome if a bad-ass girl won the whole thing (no offense to Stephanie, but she was little too timid for my liking). I also must admit that Fabio is growing on me. There was something endearing about him last week. However, I still have no love for Stefan. I don't doubt that he's an awesome chef, but on a reality TV competition, personality has to count for something and, so far, his seems to suck...although I am interested in seeing what this hype about him having a crush on Jamie is about. 

Since we're talking about TV, I should mention that I feel bad having not mentioned the season finale of The Amazing Race. **If you don't want to know who won, stop reading now.**

So, Nick and Starr winning wasn't all that climactic -- not like when TK and Rachel won last season -- but what I was more interested in at the finish line was figuring out what the hell happened to poor Toni and Dallas. 

I had been cheering for them all season and was hoping that the whole losing the passport thing in the previous episode had been done mostly for dramatic effect. I mean, I knew Dallas had actually lost his passport, but I felt like the camera crew had to have been able to grab it or at least track down the cab...I mean, they've got it all on film, right? But then when the mother and son team weren't at the finish line with the other contestants I realized he really did lose his passport. So I suppose it's good that they got eliminated because they wouldn't have been able to finish the race anyway. 

Since the show aired, I did some Googling and found an interview with Toni and Dallas that told me the following:

1) In Russia, anyone can be a cab driver - there's zero regulation (scary?) - so there was no way to track down the cab. 

2) The reason his pack with his passport and all their money got left in the cab is because the crew made him take it off so they could replace his mic battery and then with all the rushing around, it got left on the floor. Bummer! 

3) A good samaritan ended up turning in his passport to the consulate, so even though they missed the finale, Toni and Dallas did make it back home.  

You'd kind of think the producers would have an action plan in the event of a lost passport, but maybe even the almighty Amazing Race crew can't get around the government. Oh well.

In other reality TV news, Lauri left The Real Housewives of Orange County! Clearly, as the only one remotely in touch with reality, she didn't fit in, but do you think it was really her decision to leave or do you think the whole my-son-is-a-drug-addict story line was just too heavy for an otherwise completely shallow program? Hmmm...I can't say I'm interested in meeting yet another new housewife, but Vicki's insanity keeps me coming back every time. 

And finally, did you watch the premiere of Secret Millionaire last week? For those unfamiliar, the premise is that millionaires are sent to live in impoverished areas for a week and they can't tell anyone who they are and then at the end of the week, they have to give away at least $100k of their own money (they can give more if they want). I know, I know, it's Fox, so it's a little smarmy, but I do love the idea of totally unsuspecting and deserving people being handed large sums of money that would probably otherwise be spent some millionaire's next dinner party. 

The little girl with cancer whose parents didn't have medical insurance made me sob. I kind of thought the millionaires would ask how much they owed in medical bills and just write them a check for that amount, but I suppose $50k will make at least a small dent in their debt. 

Then, of course, you throw in anything related to Hurricane Katrina and you've got me sobbing again. I know it's been said a million times, but it's really unbelievable that so many of these people still have nothing more than 3 years later. To throw anyone into that situation and ask them to decide how much of their own money to give is almost cruel in a way, but I was happy to see them handing out checks for $100k right and left. 

And the moral of this story? Reality TV is making the world a better place...okay, well sometimes, at least.

Castaway

Ok, so I'm officially giving up the reality recaps because even though I love Project Runway, it's just not doing much to inspire a lot of words out of me this season. This does not mean, however, that I won't still comment on my favorite shows when the occasion arises...

So without going into a lot of detail, did you see what the contestants on Top Design did with those bomb shelters? Half of them were nicer than my living room (my living room is nice, btw). Okay, but am I the only one who thinks it's weird that Ricky Shroder's wife is on the show? Yes, I understand that she wants to be recognized for her own thing, but is becoming a reality television contestant really the best way to do that? 

This is all made weirder by the fact that she isn't telling anyone she's Ricky Shroder's wife...I'm all for personal fulfillment, but I kind of think that if I were her, I might just enjoy the luxury of being married to a child star.

Moving on, let's talk about the newest Real World/Road Rules challenge. Now let me start out by saying that I am aware that I am not the demographic for this...that being over 30 makes me ancient by MTV standards. But what can I say? I can't let go. I don't watch The Real World or Road Rules anymore, but I loved them once and there's something about the challenges that I still like...even though even the people I actually recognize, I don't actually know from their shows (with the exceptions of Tonya and Robin), just from the other challenges. 

Gone are the days of Eric Neis and Julie and even Puck...but still, I am intrigued by these challenges. None more so than this latest one, The Island. They dump all these kids, who have devoted their lives to being caricatures of real people, on an island and tell them that eventually they'll have to build a raft and row their way out to a farther island, where all the cash is stashed. In the meantime, just hang out and learn to hate (or luuuuuv) each other. 

What do they do first? Get drunk! Of course! What else are you going to do on a deserted island? Plus, it appears that while they have an unlimited supply of booze, they have nothing but rice and coconuts to eat...I can't wait to see who dies of dehydration first! 

Okay, but seriously, if Tonya can grow up and become a functioning member of society, doesn't it give you hope for humanity? Yes, so she's only functioning in a town in Nebraska with a population of 500+, but still...

Ah, I love this stuff. It's candy for my brain. 

Reality Recap - Tardy Edition

I'm a day late on my Wonderful Wednesday recap...I have to admit that I fell asleep during Shear Genius on Wednesday night and it didn't seem right to omit the show from my recap this week seeing as it was the season finale and all. 

But first, Project Runway. I was very, very skeptical of the Saturn-sponsored challenge (lame!), but it actually turned out to be pretty cool. I'm kind of amazed at what they were able to do with a bunch of car upholstery and seatbelts. 

 

Leanne won! Do I know anyone who would actually want to wear those things on their hips? No. But, I was still happy for her, even though I was rooting for Korto...

 

Her seatbelt coat was awesome. 

As happy as I was for Leanne, I was way happier to see Keith go home. 

I mean, good job not doing fringe for once, dude, but your model looks like she stepped out of a Gap ad circa 1981 (Do you like it when I pretend I have any idea what decade a look is from?). It's like she put on a terry cloth tank top with her work skirt and then sat for 4 hours. Not exactly glamorous. But even if his design hadn't been the worst, Keith would have had to go home for treating his model like such shit. And to think he was originally positioned as the modest Mormon.

Alright, onto Shear Genius. Charlie didn't win! I wish he'd been more literal with the final challenge and not just used it as an excuse to do period hair ("She's a movie star and it's the way she would have worn it in the movie, which was set in the 40's" - right). I mean, he does it well, but that just wasn't the challenge. So Dee won it...even though one of her models looked like this:

Alright, I guess that's fine. I was surprised, at least, even if I wasn't really excited about it. And so it was sort of a ho-hum end to an overall ho-hum season. 

Btw, is anyone else watching "I Want to Work for Diddy" on VH-1? OMG, I am in love with that show for no other reason than that his ego is so ridiculously humungous and the contestants are so obviously desperate to be near him. It's like The Apprentice except rather than becoming an executive who probably has little contact with the megalomaniac, you'll be groveling at his feet on a daily basis. What a prize. 

Reality Wrap-Up and Bon Voyage (to me)

Another Wednesday night has come and gone and our lives have again been enriched by Bravo. 

The Project Runway challenge was to design an outfit for a drag queen...something theatrical, that expresses the queen's persona. And the winner is...

NOT Terri's "geisha on acid." Even though it was by far the most theatrical and dramatic of the bunch. No, the winner was Joe with this bubblegum sailor number:

I like Joe. I think he did a great job. I just don't think he should have won. Terri got robbed and, judging by the daggers being shot from her eyes, she knew it. 

Then there's Keith, who was understandably distraught at learning that he didn't get eliminated since he has clearly exhausted his design repertoire after just six episodes -- that is, if you can call making fringe a repertoire.

I can't really argue that Daniel (Mr. "impeccable taste") didn't deserve to go home, but I just think Keith deserved it more this week. Yes, the flamenco cocktail dress was ugly and missed the entire theatrical aspect of the challenge, but at least it looked like clothing.

Btw, I'm starting to think Korto and Joe might emerge as frontrunners this season, but it's too soon to tell. 

Which brings us to Shear Genius...I thought the twin challenge was pretty fun, but Nicole's ultra obvious decision to make one of the blondes a brunette was lame and the fact that they rewarded it by giving her a place in the final three was really lame. 

As for the elimination challenge...I didn't think anyone did anything very interesting, but I definitely thought Dee deserved to be eliminated based on how much everyone (especially the photographer) hated her model's hair. But we all knew she'd make it to the end, so I wasn't surprised. Still, Charlie is totally gonna take this thing. 

We'll miss you, Daniel. If I'm ever in Dallas and decide to try out the big hair look, you are my man. 

Side note: Mama is taking a vacation! I leave for LA late, late tonight and come back early, early Monday morning. That's what happens when you use a "free" plane ticket. I don't expect to do much (or any) blogging while I'm gone, so I will rejoin you all next week. 

Happy birthday weekends to BFF Rachel and sister-in-law Toni!

Half the Wrap-Up

I know you guys eagerly anticipate my Thursday recaps of Project Runway and Shear Genius every week (I'm quite sure that "breathless" best describes your anticipation), so I am sorry to disappoint today by excluding Shear Genius from my recap. 

I seem to be unable to stay awake past 10 p.m. this week (perhaps it's the 450 mg of antibiotics my doctor is making me take for my sinuses?) and last night I started nodding off at the end of Project Runway, requiring me to stop and rewind just to make sure I saw who won and lost. Tragic. 

I thought it was a decent challenge although the team thing is so obviously just done to produce drama. I didn't really understand the Lipstick Jungle tie-in...Brooke Shields seems lovely, but wouldn't it be more fun if they designed clothes for people on other Bravo shows? Like, maybe they could redesign Zoila's (Flipping Out) maid uniform or make Jeff Lewis a suit. 

So anyway, Keith and Kenley won with this:

It was cute, but I thought Jerell and Stella's creation had more of Brooke Shields/Lipstick Jungle vibe: 

However, I think most of us would agree that Kelli and Daniel were the clear losers (you gotta see it without the jacket). 

I'm not saying I could do better, but you don't see me trying out for Project Runway, either. The only outfit close to as bad as that one was Blayne and Leanne (the oddest couple ever), who somehow thought they could make Bermuda shorts look like both work attire and club attire...even though they are never either of those things. 

I have to say, I think I'm over the celebrity guest appearance thing on this show...I mean, unless they were designing for Courtney Love (I know, it's always Courtney) or Marilyn Manson (or BOTH!), I feel like most celebrities just want to wear what's in fashion and I think the regular judges have a handle on what's in and what's out...

Do any of you have favorite designers so far? I'm finally starting to be able to remember who is who, but I haven't found myself rooting for anyone in particular yet. Although I think it would be awesome if himbo Blayne suddenly busted out some fabulously innovative creation that blew everyone away...something that wasn't neon.  We shall see. 

Reality Wrap-Up

I didn't want to distract from my Blizzard plea earlier today by blathering on about reality TV, but Thursday wouldn't really be complete without some kind of Wonderful Wednesday wrap-up, right?

Project Runway...what's up with the athletic-themed challenges? Yes, the Olympics are far superior to designing a wrestling outfit (as they did last season), but unless you are one of the two viewers that enjoy the nuances of lycra, it's really not that entertaining. 

Jennifer deserved to go home. I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt and just assume she didn't understand the challenge, but I don't think that outfit would have been cute for any occasion...well, maybe her parents' 50th anniversary brunch...maybe.

Jerrell appeared to be designing for some sort of postcard drawing of cruise ship passengers during the 40's (was it 40's style? I have no idea.) Sort of cute in a totally inappropriate-for-the-challenge way. 

Ok, so Korto won with this: 

But if we're being honest, Joe totally should have won. His was the only outfit that actually looked like something an Olympic athlete would wear to the opening ceremonies. But again, it was obviously too wearable to win. 

Which brings us to Shear Genius. Bad challenges all around. Perhaps having the naturalist guy who uses honey and flour and caramel in people's hair would have been awesome if he'd been allowed to give a short tutorial on how he uses these natural items as substitutes for manmade beauty products. Perhaps we all could have learned some natural alternatives and helped the environment a little...instead, we learned that when used incorrectly, they make your hair look like shit. Great job, Bravo!

What can I say about the dog thing...Stupid? Pointless? Didn't even make good TV? Have they actually run out of challenges that involve skills that hair stylists should possess? Do they have any actual hair experts on the staff of the show? Whatever. I'm just glad Nekisa finally got sent home. Thank you, Waffles. 

Wednesday Night Wrap-Up

I enhanced my Wonderful Wednesday TV viewing last night with a Leinie's Summer Shandy and some peanut butter banana ice cream. 

Side note: Anyone within 50 miles of a SuperTarget must run immediately to the frozen foods section and try one of the new flavors of Archer Farms ice cream. They're knock-offs of Haagen-Dazs (so they come in the tiny cartons), only the flavors are better. Sea Salt Pretzel Carmel?? Believe me, I love a good pint of Dulce de Leche ice cream, but throw in some salty, chocolate covered pretzels and it's just beyond good. And even thought they don't make a big deal about it in the name, the Peanut Butter Banana actually contains peanut butter cups...uh-huh. I think tonight I might have to douse the whole thing in carmel sauce just to see how far I can push it. 

Anyway, let's talk about TV. Finally a Project Runway challenge involving real fabric and design! I know this exposes me as totally unhip (as if you didn't know), but Kenley's dress (below) was hideous. I mean, I didn't think she should lose, but I also didn't think she should win. 

Leanne, on the other hand, actually made something pretty cool...cool, but obviously too wearable to win. 

As for Emily being eliminated...well, that dress was pretty ugly. Uglier than the lame clock-inspired dress? I suppose it was a toss up design-wise, but I think points should have been awarded for the inspiration they chose. Which do you find more reminiscent of NYC at night? Moving lights or a clock face? I know I can barely even check my watch without thinking of Manhattan at night. 

Anyway, onto Shear Genius. The shortcut challenge was more fun than the elimination challenge. I felt a tiny bit bad for the models, as almost none of them seemed like the type that would choose hot pink hair, but hey, a free cut and color is a free cut and color. But I am now convinced that Nekisa is either related to or sleeping with a producer of that show because you can't be called out in the bottom on every single challenge and not get eliminated at some point. And now she's starting to piss Jaclyn Smith off, which can't be good. 

Ok, so Charlie's Angels. I'm sure it seemed like a brilliant challenge on paper...how were the producers to know that the stylists would be so disappointing? I kind of wish one of the teams had been inspired by the shortcut challenge and done some punk rock angels. That would have been slightly more interesting. 

Maybe next week they will all have to shave portraits of their fellow contestants onto the backs of the heads of professional basketball players...sounds like shear genius to me. 

All the Fluff

Time to fluff up the blog a bit. I fear it's running the risk of taking too dark a turn and while it might be therapeutic for me, I don't really want to make the rest of you endure it...so bring on the fluff!

I read Courtney Love's blog on Myspace because I am totally intrigued by her...really, if someone gave her a 24-hour reality channel, I'd watch. It's like peering into a parallel universe. And yes, I do like her music. Unfortunately (though not surprisingly) most of her blogs are incoherent, but she must have been fairly lucid when she wrote this new one*...so now I get to my point: She says she's going to hang a sign on her computer that reads: "DO NOT BLOG. EMBARRASSES CHILD." 

Ha. Maybe DO NOT LEAVE HOUSE. EMBARRASSES CHILD. would make more sense. Seriously, Frances Bean is about a year younger than our teenager and if she shares his attention span, then I doubt she's ever made it more than 2 lines into one of her mother's blogs. But I love the humanity of it. Hey, if Courtney Love can raise a teenager, so can I, right? 

In other fluff, another Wonderful Wednesday on Bravo has passed. I'm already starting to think it was a bad a idea to put Project Runway and Shear Genius on the same night -- especially with Project Runway first. Project Runway is so good that Shear Genius is really paling in comparison...I mean, it's a great filler show for when the rest of my shows are on hiatus, but there seems to be only so much you can do with hair. And really, was all that crying really necessary last night? Rest assured, though, I will see it to the end. I couldn't possibly give up on one of my shows this far into the season. 

Btw, I am so glad Suede won. His was the best dress by far and the only one that didn't look like it fell off a truck headed for DEB. I kind of want to wear it...where would I be going? 

I have to say that Bravo is being very smart this season in keeping its viewers. I don't even usually watch commercials (I just see them zoom by on fast-forward), but I still managed to spot the teasers for the revamped "Million Dollar Listing," the new season of "Top Design" (which I kind of didn't think would ever return), and was even mildly interested in that salon show with Tabitha. 

But let's face it, I'll pretty much give any of their reality shows a shot. They clearly know how to appeal to my inner bitch/voyeur. Love it. 

*Edited 7/27/08: Ms. Love has removed this blog entry, claiming she didn't post it...hackers or something. Too bad.

Reality Wednesdays

Thank you, Bravo TV for making Wednesdays the highlight of my TV-viewing week. Before I even had time to mourn the loss of Top Chef, you sated me with Shear Genius. And now you've doubled the pleasure with a new season of Project Runway all in one night! 

Alright, so even though I love it, I don't think Project Runway got off to the strongest start. I hope that this season isn't made up entirely of rehashed challenges just because the show is leaving the network - that would be a waste of what could be its last good season. (Sorry, I just don't have any faith in the Lifetime network.) 

I wish there was a practice round. Like if the first show was just to get the designers warmed up and nobody went home until the next episode. It just seems so sad to bring the contestants all the way there, put them in the opening credits, tell their stories, and then send them straight back home (or to top-secret lockdown, whichever) 24 hours later. I mean, at least Top Chef and Shear Genius have the mini-challenges before they start booting people off...I guess it's all part of the drama.

Really, I felt bad for Jerry. Maybe the producers did, too, since they clipped together his meet-the-contestant interview to make it clear that he was doing just fine without the show. I just would have liked to see what earned him a spot on the show to begin with because I have a feeling that his shower-curtain-raincoat getup wasn't an accurate reflection of his abilities. 

I'd like to say something about Shear Genius, too, but I am too pissed off about the Meredith vs. Nekisa debacle. 

Oh well, I guess I have to accept some heartbreak if I'm going to be a reality TV junkie.  

Feeding the Need

**TOP CHEF FINALE SPOILER ALERT**

Top Chef is over. Yay for Stephanie! But I am sad that's it's over...far more sad than I should be about a television show. 

I liked the finale, but it definitely wasn't as exciting as previous seasons. I don't know why exactly...maybe because it really felt like Lisa was crashing the party and maybe because even though Richard was the clear frontrunner, it was kind of obvious that he really couldn't win. I'm not saying it was fixed, I'm just saying that a woman had to win this year. Maybe Richard knew this somewhere in his subconscious and it threw off his game - who knows? Ted Allen had some nice (and more articulate) things to say about the debacle in his Bravo TV blog. 

All I know is that if I am ever in Atlanta, I will definitely be stopping by Trail-Blais. 

So what will fill the void left by Top Chef? Well, The Next Food Network Star will make a valiant attempt, but watching people learn how to be TV chefs just isn't as entertaining...unless maybe you're an aspiring TV chef. 

Morgan Spurlock's 30 Days show has started again - finally - which has nothing to do with cooking, but is a thoroughly enjoyable (and sometimes educational) way of meeting my weekly reality TV quota. 

Then there are the other Bravo hits: Flipping Out is starting again in a couple weeks. Woohoo! I love me some OCD-fueled drama. Then Project Runway returns in July - double woohoo! We must all enjoy it before it moves to the Lifetime Network and turns into some kind of afterschool special about anorexic models. 

This, of course, is all just filler while I await the return of The Amazing Race, the show that blends my love of travel with my love of treasure hunts (they aren't really on a treasure hunt, per se, but I will take what I can get). And since there are people who are clearly far more obsessed than I am with this show, I was able to find out that there are only 107 days left until season 13 begins. And by the time that's over, I'm sure it will be almost time for Top Chef again. 

I feel much better now.