In Defense of That Mom

Yesterday at this time I was about to post a blog mid-freakout over my boys' sixth birthday party. I had both over and under planned it - as in, I had come up with lots of components (too many, really) and then never really got around to the logistics. 

This left me running around yesterday gathering all the food and supplies, with a break in there to attend the boys' kindergarten graduation. (Side note: Aidan spontaneously fell off the riser mid-"Skidamarink." He was fine. I laughed. It was just so...him.) 

When five o'clock rolled around and the minivans began arriving, I was just hoping to pull the whole thing off with as little judgement from the other moms as possible. (I know, my goal should have been that all the kids have fun, but I figured that was the easy part.)

In the end (and in spite of my lack of preparation) the party was an unequivocal success. The bouncy house elicited much screaming and laughter. The magic show boggled the kids' little minds. Pizza was eaten and cupcakes were decorated. Everyone had fun and everyone left happy. 

But in a Kate Gosselin-like turn, I've now become that mom. The one who throws over-the-top parties that garner scorn from all other moms because their children now expect such things at their own parties. (And lest you think I'm being paranoid, let me assure you that I had the opportunity to confirm this fact at the birthday party my boys attended today.)

The idea of me being that mom is both alarming and hilarious. And so, even though I don't think any of my boys' friends' moms read my blog, please allow me to defend myself:

We got the bouncy house because it's what we've done for the past 3 years. I can't think of any better way to both contain and exhaust a large group of children. 

My husband suggested that we invite his magician friend as a surprise because the boys (Owen in particular) fell in love with his tricks when they saw him perform at the Renaissance Festival last summer. I didn't know that he actually did a show, I just thought he would mingle with the kids, doing street magic. 

As for the decorate-your-own cupcakes...it was a fun and cost-effective alternative to buying two cakes (and figuring out what each boy wanted on his cake). I actually recommend it to anyone. 

So, sorry other moms. I didn't mean to screw your more modest plans for your kid's party. But please remember, I only get to throw one party a year...for two kids. And, well, I think if my boys have to share their birthdays with someone forever, their parties should be awesome. And believe me, I'm trying not to mention the fact that the day, six years ago, when my boys arrived in this world wasn't a fairy tale birthing experience, so I really do think we have a lot to celebrate.

Plus, it's not really about you.

Disturbed

Well, Monday now promises to be the most disturbing night on television. 

After having watched Intervention, Obsessed and Jon and Kate Plus 8 last night (thanks, Tivo), am I still thinking about the heroine addict who sold all of his possessions to buy drugs? The obsessive-compulsive who wears her dead father's bloody clothes? No, I'm still pondering the public implosion of Jon and Kate's relationship.

I don't read tabloids unless I'm on a plane (really, that's the only time I allow myself to buy US Weekly), but, like everyone, I had heard about the alleged affairs. I knew that people were saying terrible things. But I didn't really believe any of it. And I didn't think anyone would let it impact the show. (If you're sitting there wondering WTF this is all about, the Vancouver Sun ran this snarky-but-decent recap of the drama.)

Last night's episode was just sad. Really sad. I think they actually think they are putting up some sort of facade. To listen to them go on and on about how they are committed to making sure that their kids don't get hurt in all of this, while they are essentially broadcasting the demise of their relationship to the world...it's delusional. 

I mean, some level of delusion is probably normal (even necessary) during a traumatic time, but it's not the kind of thing I'd want documented for the rest of my life. Or my kids' lives. 

I just don't know how they can possibly keep doing a show. There's paparazzi watching their kids' birthday party. They can hardly look at each other. It's creepy and sad and just depressing. And not entertaining (and this is coming from someone who enjoys shows about addicts hitting rock bottom).

Make it stop, TLC. Make it stop. 

Travel fever and other illnesses

Yesterday I had an endoscopy. For those of you who have not experienced this joy, they stick a lighted tube down your throat and look at your stomach. They claim you are semi-conscious for this, but I don't remember much of it. Turns out I do not have an ulcer, as previously thought. Does this explain my abdominal pain? No, it just means I wasted a day getting a tube stuck down my throat, but at least now we've ruled out my stomach as the culprit. 

So, as you can guess, I didn't really do anything yesterday. I woke up this morning to find out that today would be much the same, as I have two sick little boys who can't go to school. So we will lay around and watch a lot of GSN ("Sickies get to watch a lot of TV!" Owen informed me this morning.) and I will attempt to feed them chicken noodle soup and that'll be about it. I haven't yet decided whether we will get dressed...I'm thinking no.

All this "free" time coupled with the teenager stress has driven me back into imaginary travel planning mode. I'm beginning to love the idea of jaunting off to the Caribbean over Christmas. I think it should be our new tradition...all I need is a sponsor. I'll wear whatever brand of clothing you want! I'll drink sports drinks or serve my children your brand of snacks, just send us to the beach!

Better yet, send us to Hawaii. The boys and I just watched part one of the Jon and Kate Plus 8 Hawaii episode and "jealous" does not begin to describe my emotion. Don't get me wrong, they deserve free trips. Having survived having twin infants myself, I think Jon and Kate deserve a lifetime of free vacations after having six at a time...I just wish there were free vacations for the rest of us. I mean, I want to take my children snorkeling with the sea turtles. 

It doesn't even have to be free, really. If someone just wants to comp our luxury hotel room or our plane tickets, we'll pay for the rest. And I'll write a really excellent blog about it...promise. 

Yeah, well, anyway, you know where to find me.