Castaway

Ok, so I'm officially giving up the reality recaps because even though I love Project Runway, it's just not doing much to inspire a lot of words out of me this season. This does not mean, however, that I won't still comment on my favorite shows when the occasion arises...

So without going into a lot of detail, did you see what the contestants on Top Design did with those bomb shelters? Half of them were nicer than my living room (my living room is nice, btw). Okay, but am I the only one who thinks it's weird that Ricky Shroder's wife is on the show? Yes, I understand that she wants to be recognized for her own thing, but is becoming a reality television contestant really the best way to do that? 

This is all made weirder by the fact that she isn't telling anyone she's Ricky Shroder's wife...I'm all for personal fulfillment, but I kind of think that if I were her, I might just enjoy the luxury of being married to a child star.

Moving on, let's talk about the newest Real World/Road Rules challenge. Now let me start out by saying that I am aware that I am not the demographic for this...that being over 30 makes me ancient by MTV standards. But what can I say? I can't let go. I don't watch The Real World or Road Rules anymore, but I loved them once and there's something about the challenges that I still like...even though even the people I actually recognize, I don't actually know from their shows (with the exceptions of Tonya and Robin), just from the other challenges. 

Gone are the days of Eric Neis and Julie and even Puck...but still, I am intrigued by these challenges. None more so than this latest one, The Island. They dump all these kids, who have devoted their lives to being caricatures of real people, on an island and tell them that eventually they'll have to build a raft and row their way out to a farther island, where all the cash is stashed. In the meantime, just hang out and learn to hate (or luuuuuv) each other. 

What do they do first? Get drunk! Of course! What else are you going to do on a deserted island? Plus, it appears that while they have an unlimited supply of booze, they have nothing but rice and coconuts to eat...I can't wait to see who dies of dehydration first! 

Okay, but seriously, if Tonya can grow up and become a functioning member of society, doesn't it give you hope for humanity? Yes, so she's only functioning in a town in Nebraska with a population of 500+, but still...

Ah, I love this stuff. It's candy for my brain. 

Half-Ass Reality Recap

I'm afraid the Friday recap is becoming a habit...and who really wants to read a recap 2 days after the shows aired? I must admit that my Weeds viewing has cut into my Bravo viewing. Sadly, there are only so many hours between when my children go to sleep and when I can no longer keep my eyes open. Hard choices must be made.

Ok, so last night I did fit Project Runway into my night. The "Foreign Affair" thing was kinda fun. I thought Kenley should have won. 

I get that it seemed too "easy" compared to the others' three-piece ensembles, but the girl shouldn't be punished just because everybody else bit off more than they could chew. Plus, her dress is way cuter than Leanne's ill-fitting coat and blueberry dress. 

As for Stella being out...it was time. 


The woman has a niche - leather and studs. She wasn't able to (or interested in) translating that skill into high fashion, so she had to leave. But since she made it pretty clear that she didn't really need this show anyway, I wish her the best. If I ever become a rockstar and need some leather chaps, I will look her up. 

Wish I could comment on Top Design. It's sitting patiently in my Tivo queue, waiting for me to run out of episodes of Weeds. I'm sure I'll get to it this weekend. 

Btw, although I am still in love with Weeds, I am more than halfway through season 2 and I'm already missing the fresh-faced, naive Nancy Botwin from season 1. I know, I know, there has to be drama, but I'm not loving the DEA storyline. That is all I care to say at this juncture.

Happy Friday everyone!

Reality Recap - Tardy Edition

I'm a day late on my Wonderful Wednesday recap...I have to admit that I fell asleep during Shear Genius on Wednesday night and it didn't seem right to omit the show from my recap this week seeing as it was the season finale and all. 

But first, Project Runway. I was very, very skeptical of the Saturn-sponsored challenge (lame!), but it actually turned out to be pretty cool. I'm kind of amazed at what they were able to do with a bunch of car upholstery and seatbelts. 

 

Leanne won! Do I know anyone who would actually want to wear those things on their hips? No. But, I was still happy for her, even though I was rooting for Korto...

 

Her seatbelt coat was awesome. 

As happy as I was for Leanne, I was way happier to see Keith go home. 

I mean, good job not doing fringe for once, dude, but your model looks like she stepped out of a Gap ad circa 1981 (Do you like it when I pretend I have any idea what decade a look is from?). It's like she put on a terry cloth tank top with her work skirt and then sat for 4 hours. Not exactly glamorous. But even if his design hadn't been the worst, Keith would have had to go home for treating his model like such shit. And to think he was originally positioned as the modest Mormon.

Alright, onto Shear Genius. Charlie didn't win! I wish he'd been more literal with the final challenge and not just used it as an excuse to do period hair ("She's a movie star and it's the way she would have worn it in the movie, which was set in the 40's" - right). I mean, he does it well, but that just wasn't the challenge. So Dee won it...even though one of her models looked like this:

Alright, I guess that's fine. I was surprised, at least, even if I wasn't really excited about it. And so it was sort of a ho-hum end to an overall ho-hum season. 

Btw, is anyone else watching "I Want to Work for Diddy" on VH-1? OMG, I am in love with that show for no other reason than that his ego is so ridiculously humungous and the contestants are so obviously desperate to be near him. It's like The Apprentice except rather than becoming an executive who probably has little contact with the megalomaniac, you'll be groveling at his feet on a daily basis. What a prize. 

Reality Wrap-Up and Bon Voyage (to me)

Another Wednesday night has come and gone and our lives have again been enriched by Bravo. 

The Project Runway challenge was to design an outfit for a drag queen...something theatrical, that expresses the queen's persona. And the winner is...

NOT Terri's "geisha on acid." Even though it was by far the most theatrical and dramatic of the bunch. No, the winner was Joe with this bubblegum sailor number:

I like Joe. I think he did a great job. I just don't think he should have won. Terri got robbed and, judging by the daggers being shot from her eyes, she knew it. 

Then there's Keith, who was understandably distraught at learning that he didn't get eliminated since he has clearly exhausted his design repertoire after just six episodes -- that is, if you can call making fringe a repertoire.

I can't really argue that Daniel (Mr. "impeccable taste") didn't deserve to go home, but I just think Keith deserved it more this week. Yes, the flamenco cocktail dress was ugly and missed the entire theatrical aspect of the challenge, but at least it looked like clothing.

Btw, I'm starting to think Korto and Joe might emerge as frontrunners this season, but it's too soon to tell. 

Which brings us to Shear Genius...I thought the twin challenge was pretty fun, but Nicole's ultra obvious decision to make one of the blondes a brunette was lame and the fact that they rewarded it by giving her a place in the final three was really lame. 

As for the elimination challenge...I didn't think anyone did anything very interesting, but I definitely thought Dee deserved to be eliminated based on how much everyone (especially the photographer) hated her model's hair. But we all knew she'd make it to the end, so I wasn't surprised. Still, Charlie is totally gonna take this thing. 

We'll miss you, Daniel. If I'm ever in Dallas and decide to try out the big hair look, you are my man. 

Side note: Mama is taking a vacation! I leave for LA late, late tonight and come back early, early Monday morning. That's what happens when you use a "free" plane ticket. I don't expect to do much (or any) blogging while I'm gone, so I will rejoin you all next week. 

Happy birthday weekends to BFF Rachel and sister-in-law Toni!

Half the Wrap-Up

I know you guys eagerly anticipate my Thursday recaps of Project Runway and Shear Genius every week (I'm quite sure that "breathless" best describes your anticipation), so I am sorry to disappoint today by excluding Shear Genius from my recap. 

I seem to be unable to stay awake past 10 p.m. this week (perhaps it's the 450 mg of antibiotics my doctor is making me take for my sinuses?) and last night I started nodding off at the end of Project Runway, requiring me to stop and rewind just to make sure I saw who won and lost. Tragic. 

I thought it was a decent challenge although the team thing is so obviously just done to produce drama. I didn't really understand the Lipstick Jungle tie-in...Brooke Shields seems lovely, but wouldn't it be more fun if they designed clothes for people on other Bravo shows? Like, maybe they could redesign Zoila's (Flipping Out) maid uniform or make Jeff Lewis a suit. 

So anyway, Keith and Kenley won with this:

It was cute, but I thought Jerell and Stella's creation had more of Brooke Shields/Lipstick Jungle vibe: 

However, I think most of us would agree that Kelli and Daniel were the clear losers (you gotta see it without the jacket). 

I'm not saying I could do better, but you don't see me trying out for Project Runway, either. The only outfit close to as bad as that one was Blayne and Leanne (the oddest couple ever), who somehow thought they could make Bermuda shorts look like both work attire and club attire...even though they are never either of those things. 

I have to say, I think I'm over the celebrity guest appearance thing on this show...I mean, unless they were designing for Courtney Love (I know, it's always Courtney) or Marilyn Manson (or BOTH!), I feel like most celebrities just want to wear what's in fashion and I think the regular judges have a handle on what's in and what's out...

Do any of you have favorite designers so far? I'm finally starting to be able to remember who is who, but I haven't found myself rooting for anyone in particular yet. Although I think it would be awesome if himbo Blayne suddenly busted out some fabulously innovative creation that blew everyone away...something that wasn't neon.  We shall see. 

Reality Wrap-Up

I didn't want to distract from my Blizzard plea earlier today by blathering on about reality TV, but Thursday wouldn't really be complete without some kind of Wonderful Wednesday wrap-up, right?

Project Runway...what's up with the athletic-themed challenges? Yes, the Olympics are far superior to designing a wrestling outfit (as they did last season), but unless you are one of the two viewers that enjoy the nuances of lycra, it's really not that entertaining. 

Jennifer deserved to go home. I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt and just assume she didn't understand the challenge, but I don't think that outfit would have been cute for any occasion...well, maybe her parents' 50th anniversary brunch...maybe.

Jerrell appeared to be designing for some sort of postcard drawing of cruise ship passengers during the 40's (was it 40's style? I have no idea.) Sort of cute in a totally inappropriate-for-the-challenge way. 

Ok, so Korto won with this: 

But if we're being honest, Joe totally should have won. His was the only outfit that actually looked like something an Olympic athlete would wear to the opening ceremonies. But again, it was obviously too wearable to win. 

Which brings us to Shear Genius. Bad challenges all around. Perhaps having the naturalist guy who uses honey and flour and caramel in people's hair would have been awesome if he'd been allowed to give a short tutorial on how he uses these natural items as substitutes for manmade beauty products. Perhaps we all could have learned some natural alternatives and helped the environment a little...instead, we learned that when used incorrectly, they make your hair look like shit. Great job, Bravo!

What can I say about the dog thing...Stupid? Pointless? Didn't even make good TV? Have they actually run out of challenges that involve skills that hair stylists should possess? Do they have any actual hair experts on the staff of the show? Whatever. I'm just glad Nekisa finally got sent home. Thank you, Waffles. 

Wednesday Night Wrap-Up

I enhanced my Wonderful Wednesday TV viewing last night with a Leinie's Summer Shandy and some peanut butter banana ice cream. 

Side note: Anyone within 50 miles of a SuperTarget must run immediately to the frozen foods section and try one of the new flavors of Archer Farms ice cream. They're knock-offs of Haagen-Dazs (so they come in the tiny cartons), only the flavors are better. Sea Salt Pretzel Carmel?? Believe me, I love a good pint of Dulce de Leche ice cream, but throw in some salty, chocolate covered pretzels and it's just beyond good. And even thought they don't make a big deal about it in the name, the Peanut Butter Banana actually contains peanut butter cups...uh-huh. I think tonight I might have to douse the whole thing in carmel sauce just to see how far I can push it. 

Anyway, let's talk about TV. Finally a Project Runway challenge involving real fabric and design! I know this exposes me as totally unhip (as if you didn't know), but Kenley's dress (below) was hideous. I mean, I didn't think she should lose, but I also didn't think she should win. 

Leanne, on the other hand, actually made something pretty cool...cool, but obviously too wearable to win. 

As for Emily being eliminated...well, that dress was pretty ugly. Uglier than the lame clock-inspired dress? I suppose it was a toss up design-wise, but I think points should have been awarded for the inspiration they chose. Which do you find more reminiscent of NYC at night? Moving lights or a clock face? I know I can barely even check my watch without thinking of Manhattan at night. 

Anyway, onto Shear Genius. The shortcut challenge was more fun than the elimination challenge. I felt a tiny bit bad for the models, as almost none of them seemed like the type that would choose hot pink hair, but hey, a free cut and color is a free cut and color. But I am now convinced that Nekisa is either related to or sleeping with a producer of that show because you can't be called out in the bottom on every single challenge and not get eliminated at some point. And now she's starting to piss Jaclyn Smith off, which can't be good. 

Ok, so Charlie's Angels. I'm sure it seemed like a brilliant challenge on paper...how were the producers to know that the stylists would be so disappointing? I kind of wish one of the teams had been inspired by the shortcut challenge and done some punk rock angels. That would have been slightly more interesting. 

Maybe next week they will all have to shave portraits of their fellow contestants onto the backs of the heads of professional basketball players...sounds like shear genius to me. 

All the Fluff

Time to fluff up the blog a bit. I fear it's running the risk of taking too dark a turn and while it might be therapeutic for me, I don't really want to make the rest of you endure it...so bring on the fluff!

I read Courtney Love's blog on Myspace because I am totally intrigued by her...really, if someone gave her a 24-hour reality channel, I'd watch. It's like peering into a parallel universe. And yes, I do like her music. Unfortunately (though not surprisingly) most of her blogs are incoherent, but she must have been fairly lucid when she wrote this new one*...so now I get to my point: She says she's going to hang a sign on her computer that reads: "DO NOT BLOG. EMBARRASSES CHILD." 

Ha. Maybe DO NOT LEAVE HOUSE. EMBARRASSES CHILD. would make more sense. Seriously, Frances Bean is about a year younger than our teenager and if she shares his attention span, then I doubt she's ever made it more than 2 lines into one of her mother's blogs. But I love the humanity of it. Hey, if Courtney Love can raise a teenager, so can I, right? 

In other fluff, another Wonderful Wednesday on Bravo has passed. I'm already starting to think it was a bad a idea to put Project Runway and Shear Genius on the same night -- especially with Project Runway first. Project Runway is so good that Shear Genius is really paling in comparison...I mean, it's a great filler show for when the rest of my shows are on hiatus, but there seems to be only so much you can do with hair. And really, was all that crying really necessary last night? Rest assured, though, I will see it to the end. I couldn't possibly give up on one of my shows this far into the season. 

Btw, I am so glad Suede won. His was the best dress by far and the only one that didn't look like it fell off a truck headed for DEB. I kind of want to wear it...where would I be going? 

I have to say that Bravo is being very smart this season in keeping its viewers. I don't even usually watch commercials (I just see them zoom by on fast-forward), but I still managed to spot the teasers for the revamped "Million Dollar Listing," the new season of "Top Design" (which I kind of didn't think would ever return), and was even mildly interested in that salon show with Tabitha. 

But let's face it, I'll pretty much give any of their reality shows a shot. They clearly know how to appeal to my inner bitch/voyeur. Love it. 

*Edited 7/27/08: Ms. Love has removed this blog entry, claiming she didn't post it...hackers or something. Too bad.

Reality Wednesdays

Thank you, Bravo TV for making Wednesdays the highlight of my TV-viewing week. Before I even had time to mourn the loss of Top Chef, you sated me with Shear Genius. And now you've doubled the pleasure with a new season of Project Runway all in one night! 

Alright, so even though I love it, I don't think Project Runway got off to the strongest start. I hope that this season isn't made up entirely of rehashed challenges just because the show is leaving the network - that would be a waste of what could be its last good season. (Sorry, I just don't have any faith in the Lifetime network.) 

I wish there was a practice round. Like if the first show was just to get the designers warmed up and nobody went home until the next episode. It just seems so sad to bring the contestants all the way there, put them in the opening credits, tell their stories, and then send them straight back home (or to top-secret lockdown, whichever) 24 hours later. I mean, at least Top Chef and Shear Genius have the mini-challenges before they start booting people off...I guess it's all part of the drama.

Really, I felt bad for Jerry. Maybe the producers did, too, since they clipped together his meet-the-contestant interview to make it clear that he was doing just fine without the show. I just would have liked to see what earned him a spot on the show to begin with because I have a feeling that his shower-curtain-raincoat getup wasn't an accurate reflection of his abilities. 

I'd like to say something about Shear Genius, too, but I am too pissed off about the Meredith vs. Nekisa debacle. 

Oh well, I guess I have to accept some heartbreak if I'm going to be a reality TV junkie.  

Feeding the Need

**TOP CHEF FINALE SPOILER ALERT**

Top Chef is over. Yay for Stephanie! But I am sad that's it's over...far more sad than I should be about a television show. 

I liked the finale, but it definitely wasn't as exciting as previous seasons. I don't know why exactly...maybe because it really felt like Lisa was crashing the party and maybe because even though Richard was the clear frontrunner, it was kind of obvious that he really couldn't win. I'm not saying it was fixed, I'm just saying that a woman had to win this year. Maybe Richard knew this somewhere in his subconscious and it threw off his game - who knows? Ted Allen had some nice (and more articulate) things to say about the debacle in his Bravo TV blog. 

All I know is that if I am ever in Atlanta, I will definitely be stopping by Trail-Blais. 

So what will fill the void left by Top Chef? Well, The Next Food Network Star will make a valiant attempt, but watching people learn how to be TV chefs just isn't as entertaining...unless maybe you're an aspiring TV chef. 

Morgan Spurlock's 30 Days show has started again - finally - which has nothing to do with cooking, but is a thoroughly enjoyable (and sometimes educational) way of meeting my weekly reality TV quota. 

Then there are the other Bravo hits: Flipping Out is starting again in a couple weeks. Woohoo! I love me some OCD-fueled drama. Then Project Runway returns in July - double woohoo! We must all enjoy it before it moves to the Lifetime Network and turns into some kind of afterschool special about anorexic models. 

This, of course, is all just filler while I await the return of The Amazing Race, the show that blends my love of travel with my love of treasure hunts (they aren't really on a treasure hunt, per se, but I will take what I can get). And since there are people who are clearly far more obsessed than I am with this show, I was able to find out that there are only 107 days left until season 13 begins. And by the time that's over, I'm sure it will be almost time for Top Chef again. 

I feel much better now.