Fun Yummy Drama

It's Wednesday! That means that it's Top Chef All-Stars night!

Unfortunately, it's now just minutes away from tonight's episode...I wish I'd been organized enough to start blogging about it back when it started two weeks ago, but you know, better late than never, right? Plus, two weeks ago I only knew that I thought it was going to be awesome to see so many of our favorite Cheftestants all in one place. And now I know that it is awesome.

Fabio! Spike! Richard! Tre! You may be wondering if I like any of the women chefs...well, I thought I really liked Jamie until she turned out to have become some crazy diva chef since last we saw her. And I'm a big fan of Jennifer Carroll's food at 10 Arts, but well, I can't say I'm a big fan of hers...especially after last week.

Then you add Anthony Bourdain into the mix and it's culinary competition nirvana! I love this season so much that I wish every episode was 2 hours. Actually, if they did a 24-hour Top Chef channel, I'd just watch that. Well, that is unless my other dream of the 24-hour Amazing Race channel was realized, in which case I'd need to switch back and forth.

Yeah, so this blog as no point other than to say: I love this show! It's exactly what I need on a Wednesday night. Fun yummy drama. FYD.

Who will pack their knives this week? Let's hear it for Antonia! (I'm sure she's a lovely person and all, but was she really even all All-Star?)

We'll Make It Anywhere

How much time can pass after a vacation before it's just plain too late to write a blog post about it? Well, my answer is more than 14 days because today it's only been 13 days since we returned from New York and seeing as I am on a plane (returning from my last trip to Philly for the year), enjoying free Wifi (thank you, Delta and Google), I am going to take this opportunity to tell you about one of our best family vacations ever.

At some point a few years back I'd decided it would be fun to go to NYC over Thanksgiving and watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. It's not like I've ever been obsessed with the parade, it just seemed like a cool family thing to do in NYC. This summer, we decided this would be the year.

A bit of research revealed that it was possible to book hotel rooms on the parade route, thus eliminating both the staking-out-sidewalk-space-at-6 a.m. problem and the freezing-child-who-has-to-pee-in-the-middle-of-Times-Square problem. This appealed to me, so I set to work finding a hotel room that did not cost as much as a small car.

The answer was the Doubletree Times Square, but I'm going to come out and tell you that although it cost less than some of the other options I found, it was way more than I would normally pay for a hotel room...especially a Doubletree. That being said, it was nice and it was another one-bedroom set-up where the kids got the "magic bed" (the pull-out couch) and we had our own room and therefore were not forced to go to bed at 9 p.m. when they did...although walking around Manhattan with two seven-year-olds in the winter is exhausting enough that there were nights when I may have fallen asleep before my boys.

Despite the physical exhaustion, the trip was awesome.

Some highlights:

Taking the boys through Times Square the first time

Owen's comment: "This is kind of like the State Fair." An interesting and relevant connection made by someone who is 4-feet tall and doesn't spend a lot of time pushing through masses of people in a place full of strange smells.

The parade

We watched the parade in our pajamas while eating room service. Sure, it would be a totally different experience on the street, but it was hard to feel like I was missing anything as I stared down at the crowds smushed onto every corner, while I sipped my mimosa in heated comfort. And by the way, the acoustics were amazing.

Touring the Statue of Liberty

This was a highlight in that it's pretty cool to see a national icon right up close. It would have been a lot cooler if I had planned 6-9 months in advance and reserved tickets for the crown. As it was, we went up to the pedestal. With all of the security and lines, it more closely resembled a long, cold trip to the airport than a fun family outing, but I'm glad I did it once.

Blue Man Group

It turns out that seven-year-old boys are just about the perfect audience for Blue Man Group. Owen laughed so loud and so often that I had to shush him. I know the boys don't really understand what performance art is, but they know that weirdos doing cool stuff is awesome, and that's good enough for me.

Thanksgiving in Brooklyn

I didn't end up crossing #16 off my 40 by 40 list, as I'd originally planned, because we got a better offer: Thanksgiving with friends who were celebrating their very first Thanksgiving in their very first house! It was so warm and homey and delicious and nice. So much better than dragging tired kids to a fancy restaurant. (We'll save that for another year.) Plus, Aidan karate-kicked a centipede, smushing it all over a white wall...which was totally disgusting, but retelling the story makes me laugh everytime, so I consider it a fond memory.

Cold Spring

Another friend of ours went and got married last year and moved upstate to Cold Spring. I'd never been out to visit, so we hopped on the train at Grand Central (try explaining the saying "It's like Grand Central Station in here!" to small children who have never heard the phrase...they will be unimpressed), took a beautiful ride up the Hudson River -- completely failed to get off the train fast enough, missed our stop -- and then eventually made it to Cold Spring. Imagine a quaint little town out of a Norman Rockwell painting (did he paint towns? I don't know.) and that is Cold Spring. It is the definition of picturesque. Plus, we got a VIP tour of the fire station and a firetruck thanks to our friend's firefighting husband. Awesome. Plus, we got to stay there overnight and it was the exact opposite of Manhattan (quiet, cozy) and I was worried that would seem anticlimactic after three nights in Times Square, but it turns out it was exactly the right thing. So nice.

There was more. I didn't even mention the food. Mac Bar, Otto Enoteca Pizzeria, Norma's. We ate well.

We did a lot of fun stuff, but my greatest joy came from getting to see my boys experience so many things for the first time. There was also the wonderful hospitality our friends showed us, which was not just kind and generous, but also provided a unique counterbalance to our otherwise very touristy vacation. Thank you, Heather, Rolla, Maggie and Danny for taking us in and for giving my kids the perspective thatyes, people actually live here.

I've ♥ 'd NY for many years, but now my boys ♥ it, too, and that makes me happy.

IOU

Whoa. After I posted my last blog entry I seem to have slipped into some kind of work-induced coma because I have only vague recollections of the rest of November...well, with the exception of taking one of the best family vacations EVER to NYC over Thanksgiving, which I will merrily post about very soon. Promise. I just needed to do a check-in blog to prove to myself that I haven't actually forgotten how to blog.

So think of this as a placeholder of sorts. An IOU.

I have many things to blather on about - my fantabulous trip being one. My love and appreciation of the new Top Chef All-Stars being another. Oh, and the whole Christmas spirit thing...I suppose I have some thoughts to share on the way that taking a trip over Thanksgiving kind of compresses the whole Christmas season down to a matter of weeks...I haven't decided if that's good or bad yet. What I can say with certainty is that I liked it better last year when I spent the Christmas season eagerly anticipating our New Year's trip to Hawaii. Now that was good timing.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I can't go into detail about anything right now because I'm supposed to be getting ready to host a house of 40-50 people this evening. I am fighting my party anxiety by blogging...I realize that it's counterproductive. Has anyone written a book for people who don't like throwing parties on how to throw parties? I need that book...because for some reason I have accepted throwing parties as some kind of unavoidable part of life.

Yeah, so anyway...be back soon. Cheers!

You've Got Mail

My boys have email. After initially thinking it was a ridiculous request, we came around and locked them down to their contact list (programmed by us), so it feels pretty harmless. And at least they weren't asking about Facebook accounts.

Sure, they're now learning to use a form a technology that will no doubt be dead by the time they really have people they need to communicate with, but on the plus side, they can practice their correspondence skills (no, I don't think greetings or closings should be cast aside just because we're all in such a damn hurry). Plus, it's fun to get emails from them - especially when I'm traveling, as I was last week for work...

So I got online up in the sky on my way out to Philly (Delta's one redeeming feature) and emailed my children to tell them so...thinking they would find this as amazing as I did. Of course, I also asked about their days at school, told them I miss them, love them, etc.

Owen's response (in its entirety):

"You accidentally spelled the instead of they."

Yep. Nothing says love like proofreading. Email has unlocked his inner grammar robot. I think this might be an overlooked skill set for those with high-functioning autism. Who knew?

And P.S., our kids don't find it amazing that we can email from the sky. They assume we can email from the sky. Welcome to the future.

I am the clown with the tear-away face

It's Halloweekend and I'm having trouble mustering much holiday spirit. Maybe I'm feeling guilty about letting my kids buy their costumes off the rack rather than making them myself (they're going as a vampire and a zombie, so it's not like they would have been super complicated costumes to make...then again, I don't sew, nor do I possess a single crafty gene). Or maybe I'm mentally exhausted from thinking about those Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins, which I cannot, under any circumstances, buy, for fear that I will consume the entire package on the way home. Or maybe I'm just not that into Halloween...

What I am into are the free things that having kids in costume will get you. So far our itinerary includes free lunch at the restaurant down the street, free slices of pie at Baker's Square, and possibly free hot chocolate at Caribou. The free dinner offers are kind of a trick because in order to get there and eat dinner at a child-friendly hour, you have to cut the trick-or-treating short...trust me, I know.

I'm also into seeing how excited my kids get when they put their costumes on. However, experience has taught me that the excitement dissolves rather quickly into discomfort of some variety (either costume- or weather-related, possibly both), which then makes them even more easily aggravated. This manifests itself in the form of dozens of mini-races between houses, with one screaming about being first and the other crying about not being first, with the 500% increase in sugar consumption only making the whole thing more fraught with irrationality. Good times.

I'm not actually as pessimistic about it as that all sounds. I mean, there's a decent chance that someone on our street is handing out peanut butter pumpkins, and we all know that candy you steal from your children contains zero calories. Happy Halloween!

Silver Lining

One of the blessings and curses of autism is that the kids who have it tend to be oblivious to what others think of them. I generally tell myself that this is a good thing for Owen, because really, how much of what people think of us actually matters anyway? Yes, of course there's something to be said for self-awareness, but I suppose it makes me feel better to imagine that one day he will emerge unscathed from adolescence, never once doubting who he was or whether he was good enough. As if he is insecurity-proof.

Yeah, well, that illusion was shaken yesterday when we hosted the boys' very first sleepover. A friend from school (Aidan's BFF since kindergarten) and her younger brother, to whom Owen seems to relate pretty well. (Is this common? Kids with high-functioning autism socializing better with younger kids? I don't know.) Both boys were soooooo excited.

But just before their friends arrived, Owen's anticipation proved overwhelming and resulted in a meltdown that found him screaming things along the lines of, "They are more interested in Aidan!" and "They're all going to play without me!" And it hit me that even though he seems pretty much oblivious to social dynamics, he's not. In fact, he's been thinking about being left out and about what people think of him. Thinking, but never expressing these things until now. (Neither of his above statements proved true, by the way - the sleepover was a smashing success.)

So as it turns out, he is not insecurity-proof. I mean, of course he's not...I guess I just wish he was. If he has to struggle with social interactions, it seems only fair that rejection shouldn't bother him.

But, as hard as it is to see him struggling with relationships (already, at age 7), I'd like to think that if he's picking up on the bad, he'll also be able to take in the good...that he will build deep connections in his life and get to enjoy all that comes from finding people who really understand him. I think he will.

Hither and Thither

Despite this having been a lovely and leisurely weekend with my husband and kids, I'm feeling a bit whirlwindy and like I can't quite relax. I spent 3 days in Philly last week and am headed to Chicago for a truly whirlwindy 12-hour stint on Tuesday. It's all for good reason (work), but it's also a bit anxiety-producing for me.

I don't like to be away from my kids. I mean, I like to get babysitters for the night or whatever, but I don't like missing the everyday stuff - seeing their little faces first thing in the morning or kissing them goodnight, especially. Those moments are like my reference points for everything else.

At the same time, there's something sort of nice about traveling for work in that I'm able to focus only on that certain project for a certain period of time. It can be a relief not to feel pulled in quite so many directions for a day or two, even though it means having no one to kiss good morning or goodnight.

It's the going back and forth that I find discombobulating...that familiar feeling that I'm not really meeting expectations (mine, mostly) in work or family life really messes with my head. The anxious side of my brain loves it though, as it gives me plenty of opportunities to overthink and second-guess and imagine worst case scenarios. Sigh.

Sometimes I wish I'd been born an overachiever (with the metabolism of a hummingbird) rather than an overthinker. Someone whose determination to succeed overshadows her fear of failure. I'm working on striking some kind of balance, though, because as I get older, I'm realizing that setting goals and achieving them can be pretty fun...and also, failure isn't generally quite as dramatic as it sounds.

Which is to say that I'm also trying (trying!) to settle the fuck down about being good enough on a day-to-day basis and instead trust that when the imaginary scorecards are totaled, I'll come out okay...probably even more than okay. And that's pretty good.