Working at not working

I've mentioned my return to corporate America. I've been hesitant to provide updates on that, since 1) it's not that exciting, and 2) you never know who might stumble upon your blog. 

But without getting into specifics, I thought it was blogworthy to mention that what started as a part-time gig is creeping into becoming a full-time gig...or rather, it would if I let it. 

When I quit my former corporate job, I thought I'd stay home for a year, have an epiphany and then go on to do meaningful work and make lots of money...or write a best-selling novel or something. Well, thanks to my good fortune in freelancing, one year turned into 3 1/2 (with momentary lapses into employment here and there).

I never had that epiphany, but I did get to spend a lot of time with my kids...finally enough time that I could actually leave them now and then without feeling horribly guilty (overcoming my overcompensation for being a latchkey kid). 

I always said I'd go back to work full-time when they started first grade. It seemed reasonable enough, right? And yet somehow that day is now quickly approaching (in fact, it's two months from tomorrow) and I still don't want to go back to work full-time. I don't think it's pure laziness, either. It's feeling like there's no way in hell I can keep up with all the other stuff if I'm trapped in an office for 40 hours a week. 

I don't begrudge anyone for choosing to work full-time, mind you. Actually, I'm thinking that families where both parents work full-time deserve some sort of award if they still manage to keep their households and families intact. I know it can be done, I just don't want to do it. Not if I don't have to. Not yet.

And so, when my boss informed me last week that she would be able to bring me on full-time this fall, I fought the part of me that was screaming about being practical and paying off the credit card and I countered with an offer to work 30 hours a week, which will get me home in time to greet my boys as they get off the school bus in the afternoon. 

It's probably not the smartest financial or career move, but it's a happy medium. And it buys me some more time while I await that epiphany...it's coming, I just know it. 

The Tangled Tales I (Wish I Could) Weave

The travel writing class has begun. It's an online class, so really all that means is that our first lecture was posted and we got our first assignment. Once a week, we all join in for an online chat with our instructor (who is also an editor for Lonely Planet!). 

So I'd like to say that I'm off to a running start, but...not so much. I have to write about something here, something local...an interesting little slice of my city...something I love about it...something I think others will love about it. A place or activity that I have to actually go do or see before I write 1500 words about it (by Friday). It sounds so simple, right? 

And here we go, one little assignment puts it all into perspective...my everyday life has been reduced to a rotation of elementary school hallway, my kitchen, SuperTarget and (on a good day) Starbucks. Sure, I vaguely recall having done interesting things at one point...sometimes I even have the opportunity to go out and do them now...but I don't exactly feel qualified to unlock some secret side of my city...unless maybe you didn't know that Wolfgang Puck Express is the best place to eat with your kids at the Mall of America because not only do they serve mac 'n' cheese and pizza, but they have grown-up food, too, including fabulous butternut squash soup. This is not the type of "travel writing" I had in mind. 

I should be honest about what's really bothering me. It's not just that I don't seem to have a single creative idea in my head. It's that the other members of my class all appear to be fabulously jetset -- no less than three of them are actually living abroad currently -- and the only other one who mentioned an interest in family travel also mentioned that she's already had a travel article published...about the time she took her 4 kids to Paris for a long weekend. 

I'm jealous, yes. But more than being jealous, I'm intimidated. Being able to take your kids to Paris might not make you a good writer, but it definitely means you've got some interesting things to write about. Sure, I can write well, but if all I'm writing about is kids-eat-free nights and how to navigate downtown with a stroller, well...let's just say I'll be appealing to a somewhat smaller demographic. (And possibly boring myself to tears in the process.)

This is all just me working out my neuroses. I'm sure it will be fine. My riveting piece on the indoor playground near my house will totally stand up to tales of learning to crack fresh coconuts in Tahiti or visiting the monastery in Bhutan...yep, it's all in my head. All in my head.

So anyway, does anyone have any suggestions on things that make Minneapolis interesting?

SAHM, I Am

All you stay-at-home moms (and dads) must read this article on Babble today. 

I'm totally going to buy her book. 

I Could've Been Someone

I freely admit that I’m a reality television junkie, so it should shock no one to know that I set my Tivo to record the premiere of “Secret Life of a Soccer Mom” on TLC last night. Yes, it’s a bad title, but I thought maybe it was some sort of docu-drama series about being a stay-at-home mom. If I’d actually watched any of the commercials (versus fast forwarding through them), I might have known better.

The premise is this: A mysterious black moving van shows up at your house and you, soccer mom, get inside it without knowing what’s in store. In a bizarre twist, Tracey Gold is waiting for you. Perhaps what’s weirder than the fact that she’s hosting is the fact they don’t treat her as if she’s a celebrity – they never even say who she is.

The former Growing Pains star proceeds to make you feel bad about the career you gave up to stay home with your kids. The implication, of course, being that raising kids is fine, but it’s not like it’s an accomplishment or anything. But wait! Tracey Gold is offering you a chance to BE somebody!

All you have to do is make your family believe that you are going to the spa for a week (you know, like usual) and then Tracey Gold will whisk you away to a job the producers convinced someone to give you on the basis that you used to work in that field however many years ago. I suppose the idea here is that if you fail, at least you won’t have burdened your family with your stupid dreams.

Once you arrive at this job with your camera crew, you will have one week to prove that you can easily pick up where you left off career-wise. Your pseudo boss will then give you ridiculously hard assignments and your co-workers will make it clear that they have no faith in you. Oh, and Tracey Gold will reappear sporadically to show you clips of how incompetent your husband is as a single parent.

At the end of the week, you’ll be carted back home (in the aforementioned moving van) and forced to come clean with your family. Then, if you’ve done well, your pseudo boss might make a surprise appearance and offer you a full-time position…but you have to start Monday. Will you choose to return to your obviously unfulfilling life of children and housework or will you dive back into your career as if being a stay-at-home mom was merely a temporary illness from which you’ve been cured?

Sorry, I won’t be tuning in every week to find out. Although I would like to see the 6-month follow-up show where the moms describe the nervous breakdowns they suffered as a result of making a major life decision in a matter of hours in front of a film crew. Yes, that I would watch.