The Second Day

I almost didn't go to work today. I had a panic attack last night that lasted into this morning, during which I came up with a list of reasons to quit, excuses for quitting, alternatives to working this job...I really did not want to go back. And it wasn't that yesterday was terrible, I'm just neurotic and have trouble adjusting to change. Plus, once I start obsessing, things tend to get out of hand.

So anyway, since I'm a big girl and have decided to act like one, I went to work. And it was better. I dazzled my 20- and 23-year-old co-workers with the revelation that I am 31 years old. I thought I might actually have to get out my driver's license, their disbelief was so strong (yes, I look young, but I'm old, let's move on). And the big boss wasn't there today, so it didn't feel so much like my every move was being studied and critiqued. Mental note: Request to work on her days off.

One positive side effect of working (aside from the two-figure paycheck I'll receive next week) is that I appreciate the days when I don't have to work even more. Tomorrow I will get a day of rest before attempting my first 7-hour bakery shift on Friday. 

I realize I'm being a baby, but I don't care. 7 hours is a long time to stand in a 5' x 25' space, trying not to screw up when you're busy and trying to chat up bored 20-year-olds when you're not. Soon I will be wistful for a cushy office job that sucks out your soul, but at least let's you sit down and surf the internet.