A Card Can Only Say So Much

I had to go birthday card shopping for the teenager...it was painful, but I needed to put his concert tickets in something. The stupid Card Superstore got my hopes up with a section that claimed to be for "Teen Birthday." However, this section turned out to include a lot of "ur awesome" and "you rock!" Which is totally what every teenager wants to hear from his parents.

I needed a card that said something along the lines of: 

Son, 

Even though the only thing you are committed to is screwing up your life...even though you lack ambition and integrity...even though you make our lives hell on a regular basis...

We still love you and we'll be here to pick up the pieces.

Happy birthday!

Or, at least something like:

Hooray, you're 17! 

Only one more year until you can do the fun stuff. 

Hang on, I think I hear Hallmark calling...